Poetry Workshop |
Soul'ar Eclipse - Sonnet |
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
~*Soul'ar Eclipse*~ She stands in open view, yet seen by none While praying one will notice soul's eclipse Though most feel only calm of warming sun Within her heart, the storm would capsize ships None look, with naked eyes, upon her grief For fear they may be captured in its wake A few may offer shoulder of relief Yet no one sees her spirit slowly break Beyond her guise of 'happy and content' She slowly drowns with falling of each tear And though no sound she utters of lament Her heart pleads silently for one to hear She stands in open view, yet seen by none And prays someone will look beyond the sun ~vlraynes |
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© Copyright 2003 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
What a title.... and you delivered even more in the poem. Sorry...I can't offer anything to make this more stellar than it is... I'm just sitting with my mouth open. Good thing there're no flies around. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
LOL@Karilea and the flies thingy. Seriously though, the reason you can't find anything to improve it is because it is pretty much perfect as it is. Great job Vicky. I really appreciated your choice of rhyming words, eclipse/ships, content/lament. Not seen everyday. Thanks, Pete |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Vicky~ Just loverly my lil' buddy~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Well, what can I say. I come in here after long absence and find this beautiful sonnet waiting to be read. Thank you Vicky to give me pleasure tonight. Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You know that I love this, because I already told you so... ... The rest of these sandbox folks need to know it too though... KEWL sonnet, Vicky... |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
viraynes, I'm glad I popped in on this. It is indeed an excellent write, quite visual. Doc |
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