»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
In the Blue (sonnet attempt)
| Poetry Workshop |
|
In the Blue (sonnet attempt) |
|
|
Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri 
|
In the Blue (a sonnet for my little girl) Blue appear as mirrors two, The reflection of us as one. She, the child, I once knew I, her rising sun. Within the blue of our eyes, Find common bond we share. For within blue, therein lies The love we both find there. On days the sun has no shine, I seek warmth in her blue. With her gaze in blue of mine, Warmth found in my blue hue. I wonder if it always be? Will our blue forever last? For as she grow, she be free To forget the love blue cast. Alas, she has now grown into her own. Yet, not forgotten the blue she known. |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Patricia A. Plotz - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well my friend...Welcome to Class! It's good to have you here. From what I have been taught...you're meter's a bit off...and sonnets are only to have 14 lines I believe... so from this point forward, I'll let the REAL EXPERTS come in and welcome you and get you on the right track with sonnets. But later? We've Terza Rima's to perform!!! [Maybe. Nan hasn't gotten all of the requests in just yet!] Marge is probably out in the sandbox playing...Pete's probably partying...Nan's busy doing nanniness-type things...and LP's probably in Sanctuary [where hey...you'll be there soon yourself!]... Not sure where Munda, Titia and Bridget are...they're probably out playing with mudpies... but they'll all show up to class soon enough! |
||
garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Now, if I had only looked here first, I wouldn't have written my ignorant question on Nan's thread.  |
||
|
Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Ok, You see I didn't know about that 14 line thing. I was going to look at Seymour T's verses to see how it is done. I thought if I looked at 4 or 5, I would see the pattern. But it was late and I was lazy. Work on the meter...get the da-dums. Actually one of those stanzas could go. But it may take a little bit to get those da-dums. I got one working in the brain right now. Tried to get it going at the grocery store, but when I am distracted my kids throw all kids of stuff in the grocery cart...junk! Patricia |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hello Patricia... This is a great piece you've written for your daughter - I enjoyed it immensely...  It is indeed wonderful to have you here - And aren't Seymour's poems wonderful? They aren't sonnets though - He does quatrains of verse, always finishing with a rhyming couplet - with his words of wisdom for our enjoyment. A sonnet, done in classic format, is fourteen lines of verse with a specific rhyme scheme - written in iambic pentameter. Here's a brief synopsis... /pip/Forum22/HTML/000723.html - Enjoy Again, it's nice to have you here...  |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
