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A Dream Ago
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A Dream Ago |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash 
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A dream ago The grey-washed morning Smoothed soft curves in the half-light. I, stirred from steady breath By a bouquet of rose-kissed hair, Behold the shadowed beauty Veiled in satin clouds That slowly slide away With morning's first stretch – A smile dawns above my broken fast Of exquisite breasts And as first light filters through The rain-splashed window, A moisture cupped flower opens To take in the fullness of a new day. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Jim Bouder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Jim, I must admit I'm a little envious of you for your way of waking up. Mine seems to consist of the blaring claxon of an alarm penetrating the haze followed by sluggish movements to the nearest coffee dispensor. Don't suppose you'd consider a trade? Nice write. Doc |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey Jim... This is a great example of how imagery - metaphor - can enhance a poem. Innuendo is considerably more effective than explicit verbiage. I've really missed your work, m'friend - I hope your son is doing well - and I hope you stick around awhile...  |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Very stunning, I love how you split the verse/stanza with this... That slowly slide away this flows very nicely....  Great piece hereLauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Dr. Moose: I think you missed the first line ... "A Dream Ago" ... but I suppose I could recommend some literature that may enhance your dream-life.  The only difference that I see in our "real life" is the need for an alarm clock. Glad you like the poem, though.Nan: I'm finally back BECAUSE things are well with my son ... had to tear my son's school district a new you-know-what in order to get back, but I think they are still nursing enough bumps and bruises to remind them what it is like to trifle with the likes of Jim Bouder again any time soon. About the poem, thanks for the complements. I agree with your points about the power of innuendo ... I might call it the element of tension in poetry ... I'm glad I was able to pull it off with this one. Thanks again.Lauren: Coming from you, I really appreciate your comments. Apparently utility regulatory law hasn't completely extinguished my ability to be expressive ... yet. Jim [This message has been edited by jbouder (08-25-2002 01:39 PM).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
You bring pleasure to all the senses and fill my eyes with what I should be striving for Your gift brightens my day, for sure I only have applause and more applause for this exquisite and lovely poem In awe Liz |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
With morning's first stretch – A smile dawns above my broken fast Of exquisite breasts And as first light filters through The rain-splashed window, A moisture cupped flower opens To take in the fullness of a new day I how I just love your imagery here, Jim... I wish I could write like this... ~ nice to meet ya hugsLyra |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Elizabeth: I sincerely appreciate your admiration of my poem and am very happy that you enjoy my work. Your words brighten my day. Lyra: When I first posted a poem here in 1999, I couldn't write like this. With input from the poets like Nan and those in the CA forum, together with reading the poetry of people like Dylan Thomas and Robert Pinsky, my skills have improved and hopefully will continue to improve. My point is, if you want your writing to improve, there is no reason why you cannot find ways to build upon the strong skills you already have to express what you are thinking and feeling. I'm not suggesting that my skills are particularly great ... only that you and I share a key ingredient to bettering our poetry: we are not satisfied by our current grasp of the art of poetry. Keep writing and keep reading. Thanks for the kind words. Jim P.S. Nice to meet you too. [This message has been edited by jbouder (08-25-2002 10:02 PM).] |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Enjoyed your poem and point of view. I'm a bit like Doc...Morning intrudes on my dream life all too soon. So it helps to read of happy awakenings. Shenachie |
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