Poetry Workshop |
They Only Sing at Sea |
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
The white curved carving streak of light on boomerang wings suspended by great Gulf winds snow-brightening Kansas scenery to feed on wheat, milo, oats child’s trill in thrill to see them white and where, oh where, the boats? Where be the waves to float upon where is the sand, and surf? Why do they fly so far inland bringing scent of sea to this dry, dry earth… clap of hands, wave upon wave the curved carved wing of seagulls, brave to begin the miles from where they’ve roamed they only sing you know when the sea, the sea, calls them home. |
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© Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Karilea... I love the alliteration and assonance in this one... It adds so much to the lovely thoughts which you express so well here... I didn't know that there were seagulls in Kansas... they really do travel, don't they. ~ chipmunk hugs Lyra |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Karilea~ A lovely sing of wing~ Nicely done~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
I always wondered what they were doing in Oklahoma, so far from the sea. I guess they make it to Kansas too, huh? Sounds like you have the answer hidden in there. The wind blowing the wheat must look like ocean waves from the air. Nicely done. I only have one little nit to pick, "Where be the waves" just doesn't fit the rest of the poem. I suggest where are instead of where be. Thanks, Pete |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Yep, you rock. Not much of a critique, I know, but there's none to give! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Get out really? They aren't noisy? And how the heck did they get THAT lost? Not only do I learn poetry but strange true facts in this wonderful place. Now of course I wonder are they the scrawny ones like I saw on the east coast and down on the gulf, or our big fat guys from the west? I guess they are like people and come in all varities? Lovely poem to start my day off with. Yes, just what I need MORE seagulls Kidding. The most valuable thing you own is a smile, wear it, and share it. Sharon [This message has been edited by Mysteria (08-19-2002 01:45 PM).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This is great stuff... and I think I agree with the thought of "where are the waves", only because, the rest of the poem writes in modern style and "where be the waves" sound archaic... but Karilea, you have another winner is this one... really liking it... regards, sudhir |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Such wonderful descriptive imagery! You have me watching for seagulls in Kansas now. Enjoyed the read... Shenachie |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thanks for your comments, everyone! Much appreciated! |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Karilea, What a delightful write. Sharon...they are the fat ones. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Sunshine, This is great, I really liked your descriptive phrasing " boomerang ", it instantly re-created the image of gulls in flight.Thanks. Doc |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
LOL - We have fat ones too, but those are the greedy ones who hang out at the local land fill... This is wonderful, Karilea - Your imagery is great and you paint a lovely picture with your words... I didn't know they could get so lost either... They really DO sing a sea song or two... |
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