»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
Nan, please check this.
| Poetry Workshop |
|
Nan, please check this. |
|
|
Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Nan, I know class is almost over but I wanted to try an Italian Sonnet. I am about half way finished but not sure of the ta DUM. The bright yellow flowers covered the ground running from valley to top of the hill rythmecally swaying the bright daffodill dances to music that utters no sound. I almost believe lines 1,2, and 4 are ok. I question line 3. What do you think? If ok, I will continue and try to be finished on time. If not ok, I will finish and post at open 4 and not call it a sonnet. Thanks. Lorene |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Lorene Meadows - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
The bright yellow flowers covered the ground running from valley to top of the hill rythmecally swaying the bright daffodill dances to music that utters no sound. Hehe....This is pretty good anapestic stuff - Let's see if we can iambize it... The yellow flowers brightly cover ground From valleys running to the tops of hills In rythmic sway the sunny daffodills All dance to music uttering no sound. Ya think???  |
||
|
Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
ooh, That's diffrent. Ok. must give it a shot. Thanks. ___________ Lorene |
||
|
Ohme Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816Texas |
Nan, I looked up anapestic which led me to look up some more words. Now the best I can say is Huh? Did you say it was or was not pretty good as is? And what is it? DUH! Thanks, Still trying to figure out a perfect ta DUM.Lorene |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||