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Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

0 posted 1999-11-07 12:31 PM


What heart entreats, I fear I cannot be --
Nor speak the words that hope demands to hear;
For such would trust my happiness to thee,
And christen thee as one I must revere.
Though innocent and pure thou might appear,
A blessing of the heavens' lofty hand,
Thine eyes endanger all I hold as dear:
For I am but a slave to their demand.
Upon my soul, in mastery you stand --
I cannot from my mind this sight erase --
Thine eyes burn not with love, but cold command:
And naught but cruel intentions in your face!

For love's facade, no favor shall I spare:
There are much kinder means to court despair!

------------------
You cannot choose the way of your death, but the path you choose will determine its own end.


© Copyright 1999 Linda Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
1 posted 1999-11-07 04:24 AM


Wow Skyfyre ! First class is almost silent and then you come up with this ! WOW !

[This message has been edited by Munda (edited 11-07-1999).]

Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
2 posted 1999-11-07 09:32 AM


Me thinks you must have written other sonnets! Very pretty, Skyfyre.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 1999-11-09 02:03 AM


Excellent job with this one

------------------
Alis volat propriis

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 1999-11-09 03:59 PM


Well now - I can see as well that you aren't a novice. Your theme develops nicely - Your rhyme scheme adheres perfectly to the Spenserian mode - and - Your meter is flawless iambic pentameter...

What more is there? Oh yeah - IMAGERY!! You've used personification beautifully....
All I can say is

I wish I had written this one!!!


Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
5 posted 1999-11-11 09:52 PM


I must agree with Nan, I wish I had written this one ... but only for the skill exhibited, not the content. My love would be most distressed if I wrote something like this!

Writing a poem, especially a structured poem, in archaic language is quite a challenge ... you performed admirably here. The sonnet is one of my favorite forms, and you have demonstrated precisely why with this piece. Well done.

Nocht

Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
6 posted 1999-11-11 10:32 PM


Wow, Skye....this is terrific. What more could I add that the other's haven't already said?? Very well written.
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