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Balladeersong
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Balladeersong |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands 
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Why can't I write a sonnet like you did and let the words flow softly into rhyme To write da-Dums with words that truly fit I tried but sure it must be the wrong time They say to look at you sweet Balladeer At least to sonnets that you wrote before Lost in your stories is what happens here Cause when I read I look at rhyme no more So I will give this sonnet one more try I hope I did not make a too big mess At last I'm glad you did not hear me sigh But then it is our fate to sigh I guess I name this sonnet my Balladeersong It is my first but it won't be for long A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... Want to use the pics on my website? Just send me a mail and I'll give you the link. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Titia Geertman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
You've got it, Titia! Great job! Your determination paid off! The only line that was out of meter was the next to last. How is this for a substitue? "For Balladeer I wrote this little song" Again, great sonnet, Titia! Cute & clever! |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
A wonderful write, Titia! Actually the only flaw is in the 4th line. I would suggest "I tried guessI got it wrong last time" or something to that effect. You did REAL good!!! |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Denise and Balladeer, I think you're both right. Well wait till the next one. If you don't try, you'll end up with nothing has always been my line Thanks, Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... Want to use the pics on my website? Just send me a mail and I'll give you the link. [This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (01-13-2002 08:25 PM).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Titia, Yes, it is really coming along. I think Denise and Balladeer have made good suggestions but you are getting really close. I wish I could write poetry in a second language  Thanks, Pete |
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Canuckster Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285New Mexico, USA |
Better than any first sonnet I ever wrote ..... and I've written many  never try to teach a pig to sing |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Wonderful, Titia - I personally don't see how you Dutch folks manage to get the meter so close to perfect - This is your second language, after all... I like this piece - Nice work, m'friend.. and Denise & Balladeer have given you perfect advice, of course...  |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Not a Poet, thanks, do come over and I'll teach you Dutch LOL Canuckster, thanks for your support, you write beautiful sonnets Teach Nan, that's because you explain the assignments in class so well  At first I was a bit rusty in my English but you all keep polishing it, I learned quite a lot by reading. And I can't use fancy words simply because I don't know them (ha ha) and because I'm a stubburn girl, I never stop trying till I got it right. Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Titia, I joke around with this format now, but it was no joking matter when I started. I think you've done very well with this. Doc |
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