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A Single Reddish Rose (Did I even do this right?)
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A Single Reddish Rose (Did I even do this right?) |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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I'm not sure if I did this right or not, but here goes... Life is like a twisted path Throughout the narrow wood I found myself alone one time In cold and dark I stood I found that I had lost the trail That I had tread before I ran, and caught my legs upon The weeded forest floor Oh weeds! Thy thorns are evil swards That cut into my being They cut the heart that loved before The evil that it?s seeing I tumbled as the stubborn weeds Clung to the flesh of mine Struggling, fighting to get away From this terror I had to find The night was growing darker As my hope began to die I was tired of fighting, and I could only sit and cry And then, alas! I saw a light Peeking through the wood I free myself from the thorny weeds Though I never thought I could I stumble through the rocky wood I stumble towards the light Longing to feel some kind of warmth Longing to escape the night I finally reach the magic light And the only thing that grows In this quite barren clearing Is a single reddish rose I?m wounded from the weeds I fought My hands are bathed in red As I reach for this single blossom I fear I?ll soon be dead But alas! As I touch the beautiful bloom That seems to be sent from above It heals my hands and makes me whole What else could it be but love? Love blooms in the strangest places Often far off the trail As long as you can touch it, though There is no way you can fail You may have to put up a fight for it There?s much pain you will feel But there is no such thing as a wound That true love can not heal! So when you are lost in the darkness And the cold winds ?round you blow Just keep you eyes out for a light And for a single reddish rose  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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| © Copyright 2001 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Oh! Love Bug! what wonderful imagery you have in this, and yes! you did get it right. This one's a keeper for me. write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
LoveBug, I'm getting an image of something sixty-ish , "Flower Power" . Well done. Doc |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Did you do this right? Oh, indeed!  This is wonderful. I especially love the first two stanzas. My favorite poet couldn't have written it better. Gene (formerly, u_gene) |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
LoveBug this is great! You used great imagery and I truly like it all the way to the end. Way ti go! |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
"Love blooms in the strangest places" So true. You never know when the "love bug" is gonna bite do you? LOL! I think you wrote this perfect! Debbie |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Thank you all for your wonderful comments, although I do wonder who Gene's favorite poet is!  I wish I could have been around for the '60s, friend Moose! "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I like this! The imagery is very well done. Maybe Gene's favorite is Robert Burns? You know, A Red, Red Rose. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
LoveBug~ Yes ! 'Love blooms in the strangest places Often far off the trail As long as you can touch it, though There is no way you can fail' Conjured up images of many a love, found when we don't even know we're looking. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Just right LoveBug.. ^_^ Such is love.. One thing tho, you wrote "But alas" .. I always thought that was kind of an exclamation of dismay.. but you are dismayed at love? Nah.. ^^ Well, maybe I am wrong, and have just never used it any other place.. Sorry! ^^ Just wondering.. A thoroughly enjoyable read.. very beautiful, and I see why you are the LoveBug now.. ^^ Luv, Lynne "He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I see a well developed poem here which has a consistent rhyme scheme and meter... along with some pretty good imagery... and all about the "single reddish rose of love"....  |
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