Poetry Workshop |
I Want to Pocket My Ball |
Felix Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 78USA |
I am going by the Villanelle rules: 1) five tercets rhyming AbA', abA, abA', abA, abA', abAA' 2) no narrating 3) iambic pentameter or some type of iambic meter this is due to my new found hobby of playing pool and supposed to be rather humorous... I Want to Pocket My Ball I do not want to pocket my que ball My skills will improve with multiple time However I do keep bumping the wall What was his name? I forget, was it Paul? They all want to share their Zodiac sign I do not want to pocket my que ball This is much better than shopping the mall I am glad it is not me who is blind Hwever I do keep bumping the wall Men keep watching, I lean over, they stall When i take a break i will suck a lime I do not want to pocket my que ball Typical pick-up line, "You are how tall?" (I am 5'10) One more hairy navel helps me unwind However I do keep bumping the wall How can it be he is saying, "Last call" Only complete when i sink in the '9' I do not want to pocket my que ball However I do keep bumping the wall < !signature--> Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king, and then became one? - Neil Diamond [This message has been edited by Felix (edited 11-20-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Stacey Sutton - All Rights Reserved | |||
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Felix you did well ! I enjoyed. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Very cute, Felix... I enjoyed this one.. It sounds like quite a productive pastime to me.. You've got the rhyme scheme down.. and you've certainly developed your theme.. "a day in the life of an aspiring pool shark"... LOL.. I've read it a couple of times and can't get a handle on your intended meter, but that's easily tweaked.. You've done a nice job... and I'm glad to have you here in the workshop... |
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