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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Poetry Workshop |
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Sweep of the Chimney Swift - villanelle |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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Sweep of the Chimney Swift Your chimney may be home to perching pest The long and slender wing of Chimney Swift And feathers of an uninvited guest A nice wide chimney is this fellow’s quest Entire flocks into the smoke stack drift Your chimney may be home to perching pest On inside sooty chimney walls they nest With chittering and chattering of Swift And feathers of an uninvited guest If crowded chimney causes him unrest Some of these slender wings will swiftly lift Your chimney may be home to perching pest Those who remained inside to take a rest May get their feathers singed when sparks uplift And feathers of an uninvited guest Descending in tornado form with zest They sweep your chimney, a homewarming gift And feathers of an uninvited guest Your chimney may be home to perching pest Elizabeth Santos |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Elizabeth, I especially liked the imagery in this ("tornado form with zest" , well done . Doc |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
Elizabeth you make it look so easy! (but I know it's not!) I loved your idea, very creative! |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Liz...Liz...Liz...will you ever cease to surprise me ? Wonderful !! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Liz, surprising lovely while keeping true to the form. And the imagery WOW! write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Felix Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 78USA |
HAHAHA!!!! This is great! I remember when my family used to have to deal with this dilemma...thanks for reminding me of my old house! May I suggest a chimney sweeper? favorite line would have to be "Some of these slender wings will swiftly lift" - "Some" "theSe" "Slender" "wingS" "Swiftly" don't know if you meant to contain alliteration but you did...it's one of my favorite things in poetry. in that same line I also like the double use of "ift" in "swiftly" and "lift"...almost a form of diminishing rhyme. Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king, and then became one? - Neil Diamond |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Elizabeth ... This is wonderful... I don't have to say that it conforms beautifully... It's perfect, of course... Um... A chimney sweep is certainly one idea... How about a nice cozy fire... and keep it burning year-round...  |
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