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Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA

0 posted 2000-05-04 06:47 PM


I became interested in sonnets about a month ago. I thought Shakespearean (English) was the only type there was, then I found out about the other two--ARGH!

I've never tried anything but English, so here goes.... I've decided to do a little experiment:

I'm posting the same sonnet written in the three different styles. You decide which style works best.  
------


(English--Shakespearean)

I’d love a thief, before a lying cheat.
Insidious, lies hide from open view.
They’ll steal your thoughts, and rob your soul deplete,
And all of what is good, they will undo.
A thief may take from you, things you hold dear,
But they can always be replaced with new.
Lies cause you heartache; brand you insincere.
You’ll get your up’n com’ns, and what’s due;
You see, you have a lot at stake to lose.
Your friends will shun you; treat you with contempt,
Invent more lies, to combat yours with ruse.
A vicious circle cannot be exempt;
One lie begets another, all in all...
‘Taint worth to tell a single lie at all.

____    


(Italian)

I’d love a thief, before a lying cheat.
Insidious, lies hide from open view.
With all of what is good, they will undo
By stealing thoughts, and robbing souls deplete.
A thief may take from you, things you hold dear,
But they can always be replaced with new.
A lie will steal your dignity, then soon
Cause heartache, hate, and brand you insincere.
You see, you have a lot at stake to lose.
Your friends will shun you; treat you with contempt.
Your lie begets another, and in all,
Invent more lies to combat yours with ruse.
A vicious circle cannot be exempt;
‘Taint worth to tell a single lie at all.

____


(Spenserian)

I’d love a thief, before a lying cheat.
Insidious, lies hide from open view.
They’ll steal your thoughts, and rob your soul deplete,
And all of what is good, they will undo.
A thief may take some things held dear to you,
But they can always be replaced again.
A lie brings insincerity from you,
Which will come back to haunt you once again.
Your friends will shun you; treat you with disdain.
A vicious circle of which it ensues,
Invents more lies, to combat yours in vain.
You see, you have a lot at stake to lose.
One lie begets another, all in all...
‘Taint worth to tell a single lie at all.

____


(My Opinion)

What format should a sonnet mostly be?
Spenserian is difficult, I find—
Italian unfamiliar is to me,
As Latin is to my ear most unkind.
For reason unbeknownst to anyone,
I would choose English every single time.
Perhaps this seems a little odd to some,
But I need English, so that I might rhyme.
I’d love to write a sonnet if I could,
But only if it’s English that I may.
No other sonnet does me any good;
I’m sorry, but that’s all I have to say.
So, please let it be English if you please,
Then I could write a sonnet with such ease.

____

What’s your opinion?

~Gene



[This message has been edited by u_gene (edited 05-04-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Gene M. - All Rights Reserved
Ted Reynolds
Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331

1 posted 2000-05-05 08:49 AM


All three forms, and a cute postscript sonnet as well?  Ambitious!!  And a very good beginning entry for this topic.  Now I'll have to try all three, and I haven't even started yet.

I'll bet you wrote the Shakespearean first, and it certainly reads quite well.  Then the Italian works about as well because you only had to reshuffle the order of the lines.  

But the Spenserian demanded new lines to accomodate the continued rhyme -- and caused you to do some arbitrary forcing.  (You use "again" twice as an end rhyme, and "you" twice also, and "in vain" and "of which it ensues" don't mean much apart from being rhymes.)

I wonder if it wouldn't be fairer to the Spenserian form to take a fresh start with new rhymes.

Congrats again on a good start to this subject.  

Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
2 posted 2000-05-05 02:19 PM


Ted,

Thanks for your comments. Yes, I learned to write Shakespearean sonnets first, which is I guess why I like that the best.  I agree that I forced things to work for the other two, but i was just experimenting. Your right, you should start with a fresh approach. I just wrote a new Spenserian from scratch on a different topic and it seems to work very well. I may post it soon.

Thanks,
~Gene

Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
3 posted 2000-05-05 06:40 PM


I just posted my attempt at an all new Spenserian sonnet in the Corner Pub. have a look.

BTW, I decided to set the meter according to the sound rather than the actual syllable count, e.g. "being" pronounced like 'bean' Not sure if this is correct--please let me know.

Thanks,
~Gene

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2000-05-11 05:37 PM


This sonnet is best viewed in the Shakespearean format... That one seems to flow the best.  Your Italian seems to me to be a bit of a "cheat"...  ... considering that you really have a rhyme scheme of abba-cbbc-def-def..... and you've repeated actual end words rather than rhymed....
Likewise in the Spenserian... Your second quatrain is a repetion of end words...

Ergo, I vote for the English/Spenserian mode...   ... It flowed more easily for you, and you didn't "cheat" there...  



[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 05-11-2000).]

Gene
Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935
Colorado, USA
5 posted 2000-05-11 07:25 PM


(abba-cbbc-def-def) Yikes! I don't know how I did that.

What do ya mean repeat words? "you" rhymes perfectly with "you"  

I guess I'm just a lying cheat.  
Send this bad boy to the Principal's office.

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2000-05-11 10:38 PM


Detention tomorrow.. Even though it's Friday..
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