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On Wing of Butterfly (Extended metaphor)
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On Wing of Butterfly (Extended metaphor) |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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On Wing of Butterfly One day a splendid vision came to settle in my eye That I would fly for just one day on wing of butterfly I crept into the garden and I carefully took note Until I found the perfect wing on which I’d like to float The butterfly then nodded as she welcomed her new guest And seemed to understand the quiet meaning of my quest On silver gleams of colored wing in early morning light I lay upon her supple wing as she took off in flight A garden was her paradise, the summer breeze her friend And joyous thrill at every venture neither could pretend From silky leaf to scarlet petal she would pleasure bring And lightly brush the pollen stems against her golden wing I felt the plush and sun-lit warmth upon her velvet gown The comfort of a pillow soft with every up and down A gush of wind then swept her wing to heights without an aim And looking down I saw the troubled earth from which I came She fluttered down in giant swoops and finally came to pose Upon the upturned petals of a fragrant crimson rose She left me there in my despair in emptiness and pain Alone to ponder silently effects of my disdain Sometimes the greatest sights and places you will ever find Are fragrant, lovely, wondrous, velvet journeys through the mind A trip on silken windblown sail, deception would belie To think that I could sail through life on wing of butterfly Elizabeth Santos [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 04-18-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Elizabeth, Guess I got here first. Excellent job, very good meter and rhyme. I like the 7 foot lines, something a little out of the ordinary, nice touch. Of course this fits the assignment very well, or at least my understanding of the assignment. An interesting metaphor or fantasy and it carries through nicely. Well written and fun to read. Pete |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Liz, You write so very beautifully, and present such lovely, soft images. It was such a joy to read, almost like a short film ran through my head. Thank you for the ride, Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Liz, as always, this is so beautiful ! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This lovely feat of "iambic heptameter" certainly works...  Your readers invariably find themselves floating about in a whimsical and fluttery state of fantasy... It works, Elizabeth... I have to say, it's a work well done.. I love it - Got any more where that came from??.. |
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