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While Walking In the Woods Alone
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While Walking In the Woods Alone |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Ok, I know this isn't quite right as I posted this one some time ago in CA. But I was a newbie then and it didn't get any attention, so I didn't learn much from it. I think it qualifies as an extended metaphor but would like more learned and official opinions. So I submit it now for same. BTW, I am working on another (a new one) and hope to submit it soon (just in case this one flunks) surely before the class is over.  While Walking in the Woods Alone There was a lovely flower that I met While walking in the woods alone one day; Such beauty had I never seen and yet At first I could not find the words to say, Or understand, my feelings or my smile, But could not walk on by ... I had to wait, To look, and smell, and touch for just a while, Although I knew my hour was growing late. Its golden petals, curled and soft as down, Were dancing in the breeze as fairies will, And closer look revealed they somehow bound The vision of a face, more lovely still, With eyes of azure blue but hint of gray, Created as my only sight to see - By then I could not bear to look away, That lovely flower had enchanted me. I sat, caressed, admired and dreamed of it, And wondered might there ever be some way For me to know and love this wond'rous bit, This lovely flower that I found that day, To cherish it and press it in a book, Or sit with it and talk of what we know, Or smell its fragrance, hold it close and look - But much too soon would come its time to go. Then much to my surprise and pleasure too, With gorgeous smile, my flower spoke to me And said, "You are my dearest friend, it's true." - My dearest wish was what this had to be. While my enchanted eyes and ears, of course, Were dreaming such a charming phrase I heard, I searched with hopes to find that voice's source, That lovely voice which spoke such lovely word. But in that verdant wood there was no other, No face, no body, soul, nor spirit found, For everywhere I searched, I found none other Who might have uttered such a lovely sound. With that I must believe that it was she, That lovely golden flower in the wood, Whose gorgeous smile I saw - who spoke to me Those lovely words which made me feel so good. Although I knew 'twas just a fool's illusion To think or hope that she might care for me, Her words and ways compounded my confusion, And made me wonder what this charm could be; Was she a flower, witch, or dream, this goddess, Who caught my eye and stole my heart that day? I search for answers still, but still it's hopeless - That lovely flower since has gone away, And nothing ever shall my grief allay. < !signature--> Pete What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity -- sufficiently sublime in their simplicity -- for the mere enunciation of my theme? Edgar Allan Poe [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 04-11-2000).] |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Pete, You wrote this when you just started out? It's beautiful, tender, and, like you, very sweet. Lovely images and words. I loved it! Kris the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Pete: This is great work, Pete. The flow and wording are very impressive and, I agree with Kris, that this is a beautiful poem. Good work, Sweet Pete.  Jim |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Wow Pete, I'm impressed ! I love this poem !  |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hey, I'm really glad you all like this one. It has always been one of my favorites. I don't suppose it is technically my strongest but it is always pleasant to read. It started out as an early attempt at a metaphor, but I don't think I knew what extended meant at the time. Looking back at it now, it seems to fit, at least that's my understanding. And Kris, believe it or not, it also started out as an early experiment or attempt at free verse. So, you can see what happens to us left-brainers when we attempt such an unstructured thing Well, thanks for reading and commenting. I hope teacher approves it too  Pete |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
This is beautiful Pete... and I'm glad you poted again cause i would'nt have read. very well written ... If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Hi Avanti, Yes, it seems that is one of the problems with a forum like this. New members don't get as much attention as those who have been around a while. Come to think of it, this applies to most social environments, not just forums. It must be human nature to associate with the familiar more easily than the new. In real life, the newcomer can try to be more outgoing and take the initiative in making friends. But here, all we can do is put our stuff out there and hope for the best. With a little luck, a couple of the established members may start responding then the rest of us will eventually see the numbers start to grow. With that we may become curious and start reading the new poets (new to Passions, that is). Eventually, it all works out, although I'm sure a few get discouraged and leave too soon. Well, I guess this discussion belongs somewhere other than Nan's workshop. Sorry teacher, for talking out of turn and completely off the subject. But I really to bring this up. Too many of our new members' efforts go completely unnoticed until lost somewhere in the archives. I'll go sit in the corner for a while now.  Dumb Pete |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Pete - this is absolutely WONDERFUL!!! Are you a friend of Craig's or something? What is this "Not a Poet" stuff about?? If you guys are reading this - Please note that Pete never once tells his reader that the flower is a lady that he's quite enchanted with... We certainly know it, though, don't we???...  |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Well, thank you very much Miss Nan. If you liked it then I'm just tickled to death  And I might add that this was a really fun class  BTW, still working on another but got sidetracked to write and post an important one (to me) in CA. Be back here soon. Pete |
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