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jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash

0 posted 2000-04-12 11:25 AM


*Following Kris's & Pete's lead, I am submitting my first ever Passions post which, incidentally, utilizes extended metaphor ... Nan, I hope you don't mind the repost.

***

Like an empty hearth,
my soul, cold and desolate when you found me,
poor and needy,
eyes blinded to my own heart's poverty.
Your love ignited the kindling:
from a spark, a flame;
from a flame, a roaring fire.

My words are like the ashes
rising from that blaze, cast to the heavens,
bearing witness to the fire
that rages below like circling Seraphs,
burning bright for a moment,
to disappear from sight,
carried off by the four winds.

No longer needy, no longer poor,
no longer dark, no longer desolate,
only hungry.
The same flames that give light and warmth
also consume me.
I long for more of your love,
fearing the day when these bright flames
become dark smoke.
Against that day my spirit desperately strives.

Who would turn from the fire
and return to the empty hearth?
I will not.
I cannot.
Though your flame be distant as the stars above,
by it I am warmed.
Though the clouds obscure its light,
by it I see.

May my love also be
your warmth, your light.


< !signature-->

 Jim

"If I rest, I rust."  - Martin Luther




[This message has been edited by jbouder (edited 04-12-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Jim Bouder - All Rights Reserved
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
1 posted 2000-04-12 02:08 PM


Ok Jim, what's going on ? No epic and now a repost ?    No spitbals ! there's no one to hide behind !  
LOL You know what ? I love this one ! Glad you reposted, otherwise I may never have read it !

jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
2 posted 2000-04-12 02:14 PM


"Ok Jim, what's going on ? No epic and now a repost?"

That's a fair question (and, Munda, I know you are being playful).  I'm trying to get a new hotel opened before the July 4th weekend (U.S. Independence Day) in Hershey, Pennsylvania (home of Hershey Foods) and have a dozen other tasks on top of that so real life hasn't left much time for writing.  I'm glad you liked this, Munda.  Hopefully I'll be back up to speed in here soon.

Jim

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
3 posted 2000-04-12 06:03 PM


Hi Jim,

It looks like they're never going to stop with the epic thing. But, in all honesty, you were the one to suggest it  

Hey, this one really comes from the heart, doesn't it. I guess I don't understand this extended metaphor stuff well enough to say much more than I like it. It seems unusual the way you have used the fire almost as a real thing instead of a metaphor or image. Or does that make it an image instead? No, don't think so. Well looke like I'm beginning to ramble here so better stop.  

Nice work.
Pete

warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

4 posted 2000-04-12 09:04 PM


Jim,

I'm guess I'm a bit surprised at seeing this side of you...saw some in the poem about your son, but this is quite different. Very well done...the words and images ... excellent. Very romantic...bet your wife loved it!

Kris

 the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
5 posted 2000-04-13 05:08 PM


Jim...
this is a real neat one...
I liked it a lot

 If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2000-04-18 10:23 AM


Awesome... simply awesome..

This is a great "extended metaphor".. LOL@Pete...
quote:
It seems unusual the way you have used the fire almost as a real thing, instead of a metaphor or image.

By George, I think he's got it..

I don't mind at all that you've reposted.. I'm about to do the same - But, I wrote a new one too..

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
7 posted 2000-04-19 01:10 PM


allow me to write this informal cinquain for you ")

Fire
Rages on,
Burning bright sparks
Like your warm tender
Love

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