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Corazon - Where Do I Find the Wind?
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Corazon - Where Do I Find the Wind? |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA 
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where do I find the wind? I have dreamed of flight for as long as I can remember... the days would grow cloudy and dark but I I was up above soon to put wind to this dream of mine, so I was ok for now for tomorrow I had my dream it was mine, no one could take it away. but my feathers have grown weary of waiting, and my wings wonder now if they have waited ready all this time for nothing. will this trepidation get the very best of me I wish, oh how I wish, for a shoulder but I can't be off balance if I am to find the wind face the wind it will be it must be with lifted chin and open eyes and not out of anger, and not because of hate and the need to run and hide, but because I want to fly... by Corazon [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 02-26-2000).] |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
thank you nan, for welcoming me, even if I did come through the back door *g* and here's another...this one's chock full of imagery and metaphors...I guess...lol...anyway that's what nan says...I just write them...oh and as a hint, because I have tried to analyze why I write them like this....I think when I am happy, I write first person, but the sadder I get, I hide my emotions behind images and such...might be something to help you understand how I write...thanks again The Temple of Reality the sign read >>>>FUNERAL >>>>Come Any Time >>>>Services Held Round the Clock. These days almost any attire will do for a funeral but out of respect, she wore black from her head to her soul. the gravesite was hastily prepared for it happened so suddenly she was taken quite unaware. Her footsteps faltered, and stopped as she fought to hold on to something already gone but anger reached out slapped her in the face and pushed her through the door. Silence took her half the way there, and took the seat beside her but for the service she took grief by the arm as she made her way down the aisle she needed, I guess, a bit of strength to view the deceased. the burial was quick, but she stayed until it was completely over afraid again to face the door. the headstone, she thought, unnecessary for the words were carved deep in her soul "herein lies my heart" [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 02-21-2000).] |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
and one more..... she fell apart she fell over her arm tripped on it actually and marveled to see her foot stay behind as well she struggled to right herself but the proceeding unbalanced stumble only served to jar another limb next I think was her other arm because she couldn't seem to catch the falling pieces nor herself as she repeatedly hit rock bottom she never saw them go, but her ears must have been next cause she couldn't hear the offers of help and she couldn't even bear to hear herself think. and last, as she sat with no arms and no legs (and no ears) and cried because she still had her eyes, must have been her heart the swelling in her chest just didn't leave room for it any more |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Where do I find the wind? That's an interesting opener for sure. You've used some good imagery, by personifying your "weary feathers" and "wondering wings". Your format is appealing to your readers' eyes, and I like the way you've set up your final verse "I/want to/fly".... The only thing I can think of that might spice up this work a bit would be to omit a few of the "I's" and replace them with some more metaphorical phrases... Geesh..... free verse is so darned subjective... Nice work, Corazon |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
I rarely write in first person, so hadn't noticed the I's...will take your idea to mind and see what happens....thank you oh...and aplogies here...for starting to be a part of this and not following through...have been having a really rough time...but will try to come back as soon as I am able...sigh [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 03-02-2000).] |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
 Corazon, these are all very good ! |
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