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Ready or not....here's mine
| Poetry Workshop |
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Ready or not....here's mine |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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Deafened By Silence The silence is deafening. Words, never said, ring loud and unmistakable in my ears; the reverberation more than I can stand. Your eyes speak volumes and I have to turn away from the truth they shout, in glances, at me. My eyes betray me with their tears as you walk away in utter stillness. Once, not long ago, you shook my world when you said you loved me. Tonight, you leave me deaf without saying a single word. Have you ever noticed That the words... "Goodbye" "I'm sorry" "I love you" Are so easy to pronounce ...Yet so hard to say ~Javan |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
Oh my goodness Ruth. I think I'll need many more attempts before I get up to your standard ! This is GREAT !  I shall try again ! LOL |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Good job with this, Ruth. The last stanza was very effectively worded. Maybe you could abandon Philip and come back to sit with me in the back of the room. Whatcha say?  Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
ruth I saw this in open, but since it was birthed in here, wanted to say again how wonderful it is, it says so much, the feelings speak volumes...but very softly...sigh...and yep that last stanza stays in my mind |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Ruth I love the way that in each stanza you use apparently contradictory phrases to suggest something said but not uttered: Words, never said they shout, in glances, you leave me deaf without saying a single word. ...... another sad story Ruth but you always seem to be able to write them so poignantly Thank you Philip PS With great reluctance I'll agree to let you help Jim just so long as you remain within paper dart range ...... lol |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Ruth, I know that you do not know me, and my comments may not mean much to you, but I must say this piece is wonderful. It speaks volumes of emotion in such few words. An excellent poem, Ruth, Kristine P.S. I think you might be wise to sit in your own space, like I am, away from those two distracting mischief-makers (I'm sure you know who I mean  ). You'll get a lot more work done, and won't have to pick spit-balls out of your hair.there's a hell of a good universe next door;lets go ~ e. e. cummings |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You've used some very appropriate devices here, Ruth. You get your point across very effectively with your oxymoronic inferences, and with your convenient line breaks. Although you've used a couple of cliche's, they're quite appropriate for what you're saying here. I like the overall ambience. Honestly, the only thing I stumble on is one word - that's "deaf" in the next-to-last line. I feel like that should be a different choice... I like it, hoot - I like it...  |
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