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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

0 posted 2000-02-12 09:50 AM


I Am




               I am lost and foundering without my rhyme.
               I wonder how you write free verse.
               I hear iambics in my mind.
               I see rhyming, miming, words in timing. (oops!)
               I want to structure each of them
               I am lost and foundering without my rhyme.

               I pretend to let words freely flow
               I feel the need to write a sonnet.
               I touch more hearts with my pantoums.
               I worry not when penning villanelles
               I cry no tears when quilling paradelles (oops!)
               I am lost and foundering without my rhyme.

               I understand we each have styles to write.
               I say that this should surely be all right (oops!)
               I dream pentameter at night (darn!)
               I try to write in free verse, but I can't.
               I hope to meter my next quatrain
               I am lost and foundering without my rhyme.

~~~~~~~~~~


Here's one I've never posted on these forums.. I like to keep my work more upbeat than this piece is - It's about the fears we have when those we've nurtured and protected brave the elements of the outside world -
(against our advice, of course)...

Hearts on Wing



                       Fly off,
                       My downy pigeon.
                       Test your anxious wings.
                       Depart your sheltered nest
                       And learn what
                       Unfettered prolusion may bare
                       For you.

                       Yet, veer not from the flanks
                       Of the protective
                       Homing fold,
                       Lest your lone flight
                       Finds you unapprised,
                       Perched upon an insecure precipice
                       Descrying inquisitively upon
                       Delusive entreats from the
                       Throes of nesting urbanity.

                       Scintillating lights lure you
                       Into dark corners
                       Laden with cardboard blankets,
                       And tandem benches host
                       Hackneyed beguiling temptations
                       Masquerading as apoplectic
                       Bag dwellers with bulging sacks
                       Offering deceitful morsels
                       To obediently kept flocks,
                       Which peck their way to
                       Plumper lives ~
                       Wanting to suckle
                       Your sweetness, only then to
                       Cast you aside for
                       Yet another acquiescent featherling.

                       Your wanderlust and
                       Wanton flight may find you
                       In precarious skies
                       Where one lone pigeon is
                       Helplessly succulent prey for that
                       Gracefully soaring
                       Predatory hawk,
                       Flying vulturously in wait
                       To stalk you and impale you with
                       Garish black talons,
                       Consuming you and devouring
                       Your innocence.

                       Beware, my sweet pigeon,
                       Lest you waft astray
                       And lose sight of the
                       Safety of your homebound brood,
                       While this languishing
                       Domestic nest revivifies its
                       Imperviously embracing shield ~
                       A sanctuary for a contented and
                       Sagacious aviant.

                       Fly off, my sweet pigeon,
                       Fly off.
                       Soar afar.
                       Fly off.

                       Alight within the
                       Sanctity of home.






[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 02-12-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Nancy Ness - All Rights Reserved
Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
1 posted 2000-02-13 09:08 AM


After "I Am" I felt sorry for you, feeling so lost with free verse, BUT....then you throw in a "Hearts on wing" (beats me as a Dutchie why that is not heart on wings, maybe I should take that to the EW) and leave me in total awe !!!! No Nan, I do NOT feel sorry for you. You're an expert in everything that has to do with poetry ! You're not just good, you're extremely good !  
   See what you do to me !  

Munda

Loneheart
Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 92
Eastern US
2 posted 2000-02-14 02:04 AM


Surely you jest fair maid free verse you do very well
I thought this was very heart warming  I on the other hand know only free verse



 Loneheart

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
3 posted 2000-02-14 09:26 AM


I laughed at the first one Nan....but the second one has me sitting here wondering why you don't write free verse more often. I liked it a lot  
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

4 posted 2000-02-14 11:41 AM


hey can I ditto ruth? no really the first one is precious...like I said in another thread, so different from the way I write....I think in freeverse lol...but the next poem is excellent....liked it a lot  
jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
5 posted 2000-02-15 12:08 PM


Nan:

Both of these were excellent.  Loved the tongue-in-cheek "I Am" and I am marveled by your vocab in "Hearts on Wings".  You must be a walking/talking dictionary/thesaurus!  Nice work, teach.

 Jim

"If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther


warmhrt
Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563

6 posted 2000-02-16 10:02 AM


Nan,

Both of these pieces are excellent, although contradictory, as you seem to have no problem whatsoever with free verse.  "Hearts on Wing" is superb,  Nan. You'll be a wonderful teacher...that is if I ever get activated!  

Kristine

 Thoughts of a dry brain in a dry season ~ T.S. Eliot

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2000-02-17 12:10 PM


Nan,
Hearts on Wing is an exquisite piece of poetry. I would never have known from reading it that you were a poet of structure. It is an unforgettable poem.
Liz

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
8 posted 2000-02-20 12:55 PM


Nan,
This poem, Hearts on Wing, is so hidden away. Have you ever posted it in any other forum. If not, I think you should post it where everyone could see it.
Liz

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