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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I AmI am lost and foundering without my rhyme. I wonder how you write free verse. I hear iambics in my mind. I see rhyming, miming, words in timing. (oops!) I want to structure each of them I am lost and foundering without my rhyme. I pretend to let words freely flow I feel the need to write a sonnet. I touch more hearts with my pantoums. I worry not when penning villanelles I cry no tears when quilling paradelles (oops!) I am lost and foundering without my rhyme. I understand we each have styles to write. I say that this should surely be all right (oops!) I dream pentameter at night (darn!) I try to write in free verse, but I can't. I hope to meter my next quatrain I am lost and foundering without my rhyme. Here's one I've never posted on these forums.. I like to keep my work more upbeat than this piece is - It's about the fears we have when those we've nurtured and protected brave the elements of the outside world - (against our advice, of course)... Hearts on WingFly off, My downy pigeon. Test your anxious wings. Depart your sheltered nest And learn what Unfettered prolusion may bare For you. Yet, veer not from the flanks Of the protective Homing fold, Lest your lone flight Finds you unapprised, Perched upon an insecure precipice Descrying inquisitively upon Delusive entreats from the Throes of nesting urbanity. Scintillating lights lure you Into dark corners Laden with cardboard blankets, And tandem benches host Hackneyed beguiling temptations Masquerading as apoplectic Bag dwellers with bulging sacks Offering deceitful morsels To obediently kept flocks, Which peck their way to Plumper lives ~ Wanting to suckle Your sweetness, only then to Cast you aside for Yet another acquiescent featherling. Your wanderlust and Wanton flight may find you In precarious skies Where one lone pigeon is Helplessly succulent prey for that Gracefully soaring Predatory hawk, Flying vulturously in wait To stalk you and impale you with Garish black talons, Consuming you and devouring Your innocence. Beware, my sweet pigeon, Lest you waft astray And lose sight of the Safety of your homebound brood, While this languishing Domestic nest revivifies its Imperviously embracing shield ~ A sanctuary for a contented and Sagacious aviant. Fly off, my sweet pigeon, Fly off. Soar afar. Fly off. Alight within the Sanctity of home. [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 02-12-2000).] |
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Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
After "I Am" I felt sorry for you, feeling so lost with free verse, BUT....then you throw in a "Hearts on wing" (beats me as a Dutchie why that is not heart on wings, maybe I should take that to the EW) and leave me in total awe !!!! No Nan, I do NOT feel sorry for you. You're an expert in everything that has to do with poetry ! You're not just good, you're extremely good ! See what you do to me ! Munda |
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Loneheart Member
since 1999-09-13
Posts 92Eastern US |
Surely you jest fair maid free verse you do very well I thought this was very heart warming I on the other hand know only free verse Loneheart |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I laughed at the first one Nan....but the second one has me sitting here wondering why you don't write free verse more often. I liked it a lot |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
hey can I ditto ruth? no really the first one is precious...like I said in another thread, so different from the way I write....I think in freeverse lol...but the next poem is excellent....liked it a lot |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Nan: Both of these were excellent. Loved the tongue-in-cheek "I Am" and I am marveled by your vocab in "Hearts on Wings". You must be a walking/talking dictionary/thesaurus! Nice work, teach. Jim "If I rest, I rust." - Martin Luther |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Nan, Both of these pieces are excellent, although contradictory, as you seem to have no problem whatsoever with free verse. "Hearts on Wing" is superb, Nan. You'll be a wonderful teacher...that is if I ever get activated! Kristine Thoughts of a dry brain in a dry season ~ T.S. Eliot |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Nan, Hearts on Wing is an exquisite piece of poetry. I would never have known from reading it that you were a poet of structure. It is an unforgettable poem. Liz |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Nan, This poem, Hearts on Wing, is so hidden away. Have you ever posted it in any other forum. If not, I think you should post it where everyone could see it. Liz |
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