»
Main Forums
»
Poetry Workshop
»
Hello, me? It's Me!!
| Poetry Workshop |
|
Hello, me? It's Me!! |
|
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
|
Time to get the poetic juices flowing for the new decade. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to call yourself in the past. Pick up the phone, call the person you were when you were younger and offer advice, warnings, or whatever you want to say to yourself. Of course, since you are on the other end of the line, too, you may include how the younger you responds to such a call or the advice given. Darn, rebellious, fearless youngsters that we all were!! Choose any form you wish. For those using structured forms, you still need to adhere to the rules of that structure with regards to meter, syllable counts, etc. It's something you can have a little fun with....and even a little soul-searching retrospect at the same time  |
||
| © Copyright 2010 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I am glad that we are back to the Workshop. Happy New Year, Balladeer - thank you for all the time that you spend with us in here. A |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Hello, me? It's me! -- Dear Alison ~ I have thought of so much I would tell you On a day that season’s light drifts on by Each day brings empty pages for mem’ries To share stories soaring high on wind sighs. Never forget dirt side roads and bare feet Sun rays dancing over blades of sweet grass Voices chat over chirps of birds in flight Clouds cast shadows over fields as they pass. Carry waves that push sand from the inlet Smell the kelp that has washed onto the shore Watch the eagles soar high with wind currents Let your mind carry these days from before. Hear the snow as it falls to tree branches Feel the fog as it drifts over high hills Watch the berries ripen with spring rain drops Days once boring become stories to thrill. Hold the hands of a family who love you Clasp the fingers that will never let go We are pieces formed from another day Sharing a past that forever will grow I have thought of so much I would tell you It is expressed in the poems you write Link to pasts that will forever linger And paint pictures in your dreams every night With love Alison [This message has been edited by Alison (01-04-2010 01:54 AM).] |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Awaiting Emerging, I was in my shyness fourth of five, fairly small in my teens watching and wondering thoughtfully, I would picture my future in scenes. The sixties, supposedly freer. Well, for some that was easy to be. You know I reserved too much passion for the one who could do that for me. Regretting at times all the missing, those "happenings" that others enjoyed. Kept telling myself in the long run that I wasn't the kind to be "toyed". Still, yesterdays' moments rest softly in the summers of meeting him first. If onlys could become the reruns, all these feelings of loss at the worst... Would challenge with thoughts of tomorrow, awakening myself each new day, with chances that reach out to touch me, making sure to take time out to "play". For life is too short, I have noticed, especially since losing so much. Its meanings behind hold the value, not just words, but of actual touch. Needing to fill all the emptiness, wanting " normalcy" if such a thing, lays deeply between all these verses to reread, while awaiting the Spring. (I tried)  M |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Hi there, Alison...happy New Year to you, too! It's a nice poem, a sweet poem, a poem of advising to appreciate the small and beautiful things in life....and "smell the flowers". I want more. I don't want advice every mother gives to every son. C'mon, girl...push yourself! Are there no bad decisions in your life you wish you could change, you wish you would warn the younger you to avoid?...at least something like "Don't trust Billy Joe Tolliver when he says he wants to touch you there only ONE time!" Young people look at things differently than older ones do....that's a given. It's like Bill Gates said to a graduating class..."Be kind to nerds. You will be working for one some day." Warn yourself of what your younger tendencies might lead to. Let your younger self be rebellious to your suggestions, if you like. Sink your teeth into it and show me what you can do. Hey, I didn't say it would be easy |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Maureen, I really enjoy that poem. It is like a reminiscing of a life gone by, with memories and regrets blended in of days gone by. Still not what I was hoping for...but you did what you did well. ..and, yes, you tried, and I appreciate that VERY much and I thank you. Happy New Year! |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Okay, wasn't really wanting to go there I guess. How about if we just make that one chapter one? I'll be back with another one later. A |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I understand, Alison. Pushing boundaries is something poetry is all about. If there's anywhere you don't want to go.....by all means, don't. There are plenty of ways to have fun with it |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I read the responses just now and had to do this to you.  Hello, Me? It's Me! "I just had to call and tell you You need to slow down, and get a life. What is it now about 4 times? That you've been someone's wife?" "You're a stone no moss will find Venues in life to you are many, A fortune twice and now just look... Have you even got a penny?" "Well, I believe in Carpe' Diem. Just can't stand to waste any time. I only get one ride on this pony, I want a quarter for my dime!" "I don't regret a thing I've done, In fact, I'd do it all again. I know just what you're thinking... "What's wrong with her brain!" "There never was any fortune, I just share what I have to give. Ever heard, "You can't take it with you," Sharing is how decent people live." "I am not prepared to argue that point I know you'll never change your way. We'll just agree to disagree, So let's talk again some day."  ~♥ Mysteria ♥~ |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
loved it Sharon...and maybe for those of us who have many years behind us, it is more difficult to have a talk about regrets when just maybe there weren't any in those younger years. And we have too many years that we can consider being younger. Mine were only that I didn't take more chances and was always a "goody two-shoes" but then again I never did get into any trouble...so what is there to regret? M |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Now you have the idea, Sharon. That's more like it. Your structure is all over the place but you've never professed to excel in that area anyway. Nice work! Maureen, if you have no regrets you are indeed a happy lady. I salute you  |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Structure? What structure? You've got that right - if I could have taken time to "learn how to write" who knows, I may just have been good! I have fun and that is the main thing.Maureen - I never did get into any trouble...so what is there to regret? I would sure regret not getting into trouble! I have tons of regrets! I sure learned from them I will tell you. I was an adventure seeker then, and still am. The 60's were definitely my downfall in more ways that I could expose in here. I think I will challenge Michael to write to himself about his daze in the 60's - how about it Michael? |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Talking to 'Used to Be' Oh, Child, how can I talk to you? You always tell the truth; I am jaded through and through and envy you your youth. Innocence lies upon your lips, your body moves to dance, woman molten in your hips, shy heartfires in your glance. In your world, horizons blue give place for you to fly; Like Icarus, I am ignorant, too, and fallen from the sky. In you, all that love perceives gives earth a tender sun, knows a thornless rose believes the light and rain are one. Somehow, all I promised you gave place to dusty shelf, a boxed-up heart, bruised and blue, I packed away myself. Oh! Find the key to long ago, strong, gentle hands to strum forgotten melodies soft and low and teach me how to hum. |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
...hard task trying to get the rhythm and rhyme in sync tonight. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Mysteria...they say if you can remember to 60's, you didn't live them! It's a different story for myself, though. I really DIDN'T live them, in a sense. 63-68 was spent in the military, in Europe and the Far East. In 69 I moved to Venezuela for almost a decade so, as far as life in the US in the 60's, I missed them all. We heard little bits of happenings there but not a lot. I knew nothing about Kent State, trying to make the Washington Monument levitate, or Woodstock. I knew very little about the beatniks or wearing flowers in one's hair. Some TV shows that rose to fame in the 60's were unknown to me. All I knew about the 60's was the music, which was universal. I really regret all that I missed during that decade. I'll try something, though |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Lassy, I like the poem...a lot. It's a nice thumbnail of a life spent from mother to daughter in a message....with an excellent ending. Not exactly what I was shooting for but I accept it happily and appreciate your joining in.....your structure is fine |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
I did miss the mark in grounding, else the reader would realize that it is not mother to daughter, but old self to young self lost. We don't get to go back unless we lose the present. I'm not looking forward to that, either. ) Hugs. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I got that, Lassy....I just said it wrong. What I meant was from mother of now to daughter she used to be....my mistake I did uncover something very interesting, though. Here's a list of the top tv shows from 1967-68. 1 The Andy Griffith Show 2 The Lucy Show 3 Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. 4 Gunsmoke (tie) 4 Family Affair (tie) 4 Bonanza (tie) 7 The Red Skelton Hour 8 The Dean Martin Show 9 The Jackie Gleason Show 10 Saturday Night at the Movies 11 Bewitched 12 The Beverly Hillbillies 13 The Ed Sullivan Show COmpare them to the top shows of today, like CSI, 24, Lost, House, MadMen,...and what do you get? We just don't care to laugh as much anymore!  |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Now, THAT is sad! I know the crime shows are back to back every night here. They drive me right out of the living room with gore and man's inhumanity to man. It holds no allure for me, and I find it despicable that 'entertainment' is filling the minds of young people with it. More frightening is how many of those shows are based on a real occurance, and it's being glamorized. We allow things in on TV that we would never invite into our homes off the street, and I think the mental debasement is generally accepted as a signs of the times. It's a sort of mesmerism that has more influence than most people realize. So how do we change that mentality? My grandson says I'm archaic, that I don't know how things are these days. hmmmmm. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
So I dialed the phone of magic (How it got there I don't know) And called the lad that I had been Those many years ago. "Hello", I said, as he picked up. "You won't believe it's true But I'm calling from your future And who's calling you is...you!" "Hey, who the hell is this??"he said. "You dial your number wrong? Or maybe this is just a joke.. Ok, I'll play along. "You always were a smartass, boy", I told him as I smiled. You had that way about you ever Since you were a child." "I'm gonna give you some advice And then it's up to you. How you wind up when you reach me Depends on what you do." "I know you like to spend a lot And when you're broke, it sucks. It might not be a bad idea To save a couple bucks." "Ten bucks a week is not too hard. You spend that much on beer. You'll be surprised at how much you Will have when you get here." "Be sure to go to college, boy. I know you don't like to study But you gotta have diplomas If you want to be somebody." "You always were a handsome lad No problem with the chicks. Whenever you walked in a room You always had your pick..." But there is more to women than Nice lips or shapely thigh. Look for their inner beauty And the twinkle in their eye." "And when you find the one for you And raise a family Don't ever turn your back on your Responsibliity." "You'll find out when you reach my age", I spoke into the phone, "That there is nothing worse in life Than living it alone." "Well, that's all entertaining, man Whoever you may be But you can save that sad advice For anyone but me!" "Save money? I don't make that much And what I make, I spend. I'd rather use it while I'm young Than be rich at the end." "There are no rich men in the grave. I'll leave no song unsung. I'd rather sample all of life While I'm still strong and young." "And college? No, that's not for me. I'm pretty smart, you know? I'll find some way to use my wit And make a pile of dough." "I won't be sitting, waiting for Some social security. I'm gonna be a big success 'Cause I believe in me!" " I'm looking for that perfect girl Who has a golden heart But long, smooth legs and perky breasts Are where I like to start!" "Gather rosebuds...sow wild oats. That's What they say to do. I plan to gather and to sow A lot before I'm through!!" " Hey, I enjoyed this, mystery man, Whoever the heck you are But I gotta go. The gang is Waiting for me at the bar." "Take care, old man" were his last words. I heard the line go dead And sat there in my empty house, With memories in my head. The SS check would come tomorrow. I would be well-fed. I got up from my easy chair And hobbled off to bed. I'd tried to tell him - or tell me Based on the life I had But couldn't make him change his ways And, to tell the truth, I'm glad. |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
I am enjoying each of these so very much.  xoox A |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yep, and I appreciate all of the participation |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Okay, I brought the first poem here and it is part of a group of poems. The reason I didn't leave this one behind is because I loved where I grew up and I miss it. I remember those summer days on dirt roads heading to the river, and to the inlet too. I am telling myself to hold onto those moments and savor them. Even if we go back, we are not the same and place changes. The reference to my family is to tell myself then (and now) that I was/am loved. We struggle in our dysfunction, but hands down ... we are family and will catch the other when necessary. So, I guess, this poem deserves a spot with the other three. Yes, I wrote three more (I removed one though). I am at a place mentally where I couldn't not go where I went. My life, like all of lives, is a sandwhich of events, time and emotion. I just am not sure which two poems are the bread and which is the meat. I promise - I am not going to add anymore. A - I Don’t stick your tongue on icy flagpoles; it won’t come off and you will cry. Don’t push your finger to a grinder; grinders will sand them - there's no surprise! Don’t ride bikes until you know their brakes; you won’t believe how they will fly. Don’t get angry and flip off the bird; Mom’s wooden spoon hits hard and high. Don’t flush your oatmeal down the commode; it won’t go far and you’ll get caught. Don’t hide boiled eggs in a cold cream jar; when they are found, they stink like rot Don’t bring home kittens until you ask; (That makes Mom’s day go right to pot). Don’t drive fast over those gravel roads; Dad fusses and grumbles a lot. This time is not as bad as it seems; you need to hang on to your cool. It takes time to find the path you seek - for now, explore every new rule. II I have thought of so much I would tell you On a day that season’s light drifts on by Each day brings empty pages for mem’ries To share stories soaring high on wind sighs. Never forget dirt side roads and bare feet Sun rays dancing over blades of sweet grass Voices chat over chirps of birds in flight Clouds cast shadows over fields as they pass. Carry waves that push sand from the inlet Smell the kelp that has washed onto the shore Watch the eagles soar high with wind currents Let your mind carry these days from before. Hear the snow as it falls to tree branches Feel the fog as it drifts over high hills Watch the berries ripen with spring rain drops Days once boring become stories to thrill. Hold the hands of a family who love you Clasp the fingers that will never let go We are pieces formed from another day Sharing a past that forever will grow I have thought of so much I would tell you It is expressed in the poems you write Link to pasts that will forever linger And paint pictures in your dreams every night III (Present) I don’t have any wisdom Is really all I want to say. Just try to make each day last Don’t let time get pushed away. The parties are just minefields With bonfires, some pot and booze A decision you make while drunk When sober, you’d rarely choose. I don’t have any wisdom You’ll plug your ears while you can You do not care what I think The years bridge us like a span Do not give yourself away Always strive for what you want Or images skip behind you With laughter in every taunt. (Past) You don’t have any wisdom? I listen to what you say I know you are my future I choose what to do today I listen to words you speak They pour out my other ear I see your lips are moving I listen - but I don’t hear. I wish I cared, but I don’t My dream is to be like you You got out and you moved on And I don’t know what to do If you could reach out your hand And spin the fingers of time Maybe then, my ears would hear Something more than empty rhyme. So go on back where you live Someday I might see you there Set things up and make things right Perhaps, then I’ll learn to care. - Alison |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Michael that was wonderful! I could have had that same conversation with me Don't worry about the 60's really, I lived them and I mean lived them. You must have had a far more interesting 10 years I am sure. |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
What wonderfully wrought and insightful poems! You are an adventuresome lot. It is fascinating to see how the poems evolve. I read a book by Richard Bach called "Running from Safety" that this challenge reminds me of. I'll have to try this again...see if I can find a voice. [This message has been edited by Klassy Lassy (01-06-2010 09:40 PM).] |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well, this challenge has made quite an impact on my daily journal. I have made space to talk to me about things LOL, and it is working out just great! |
||
|
Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
You all did great. I do get to drop in from time to time. I really enjoyed reading you Balladeer! |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Alison, you done good! You gave both sides and I could feel the sincerity in your words...nicely done. ps...boiled eggs in the cold cream jar? Did you REALLY??????? |
||
|
Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
uh huh Not my fault no one found it at Easter. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What a devil you are, er, must have been!  |
||
|
KatVern17 Junior Member
since 2009-05-07
Posts 33 |
I saw this and I wanted to try so here was my attempt. Hello me, hello me? "Hello, I'm here Life ahead may get tough All you gotta do is come near." I said when the line came up "Get up and stop being so lazy Help your mom Studying is much to easy." "Hello, you reached pizza hut How can I help you? Don’t be such a nut! Oh and again tell me who." “Always joking around. Take things serious for once You never like hounds This is the biggest of them all My hunch.” “You’ll get greedy You’ll feel alone You are a person that’s needy You’re home.” “You’re a little late there buckaroo I don’t have many friends I’m still waiting to know who Everyone is just an hen” “I’m always alone School’s is like gay I stay at home HAY!” I said to the other me. I wanted to tell her Her heart would be broken She’d be teased She would try things That she would regret I went to speak But I was too late The line went dead I wanted to tell her She would forever be loved And missed… * I think I lost it just a bit * |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Hello, KatVern! Thank you for joining in. Yes, you lost it in several places but you saved everything with the last two stanzas...an excellent ending. Nice to meet you... |
||
|
rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
There you sit in days gone by I watch you wondering "Why oh why?" I'll tell you now the going gets tough But you'll learn quick to just be rough If I knew then what I do now You'd quit wondering "How oh how?" Don't fret 'cause you'll get through Hello me, this is you. Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ah, Rachael...this could use a little work. The syllable counts are off, the meter is off and I think maybe you wrote this one a little too fast, without giving it a lot of thought...don't rush. I'm always here.. |
||
|
rachaelfuchsberger
since 2007-02-21
Posts 609Las Vegas, NV |
As always good Sir, you've guessed at why this piece has no set meter. But not ALL of why. You see if my past me received a poem from my present me that had perfect form and rhym and meter then my past me would never believe that it was from the persent me. Goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. |
||
|
Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Phone Call To My Younger Self . . Hey, blondie, this is you from your future- just thought I`d call today to give advice- What`s that? How does this work? Never mind now- just listen, if you will, I can`t call twice. I know you think the sun does rise for you- and every golden day and every eye, and every heart your due- well I say now: it`s `nothing gold can stay` you realize. Cultivate that garden- soul`s desire, beneath bright surfaces life`s pool is deep, you`re more than just a face or shapely figure- don`t spend your days in iambs: make believe. Say yes to Erik, then say no to Doug- (just trust me on this one- you`re better off) and take the writing class that you wanted, not dental; oh it`s bleak and time is soft. Believe your english prof when he tells you the building blocks are there- don`t scorn your muse, embrace the old cliche and then live it: purposely: `to thine own self be true`. and lastly, blondie, well you should know it there`s nothing wrong inside: you have such worth- God doesn`t make mistakes so look up now, love freely, while you are here on Earth. . . Bleagh.. not sure I like this; wrote it so fast~! =P ~A |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
hehe....ok, then, write it slow. Assignments are not to be rushed through like a race. The idea is to take your time, do your best, and be happy with your finished product. If you present it with a disclaimer that you may not like it, then I don't like it, either. GIMMEE SOMETHING YOU LIKE!!!  |
||
|
Amaryllis Senior Member
since 2010-05-20
Posts 1306Mi now |
Hear hear! Loud & clear.. and I agree.  Guess I was just using the Workshop as a scribbling wall, to get the pen unstuck- but that`s not fair. So~! I shall indeed go about designing one I like.. s`okay to post again, or shall I just edit the above??Thanks again! ~A |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Post to your heart's content, new friend. Tingling with anticipation here.... |
||
|
Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Some Aeronautical Advice to my Younger Self ( or, You Will Believe a Moose Can Fly ) You ain't no superhero slick, do not dive headfirst onto bricks! ( Only five feet right straight down, head wounds bleed like hell I've found. For one brief second I could fly, well worth the scar above my eye.) Hands greased with frosting from a cake do not a trapeze artist make! ( For fourteen feet I was aloft, the landing, anything but soft, to swing like Tarzan though the trees, one broken humerous if you please!) You should unplug an amplifier prior to messing with its' wires! (Eight feet through the air I flew in an arc when that thing blew. A flash, a pop, then coming to... in retrospect not smart to do.) Though you may have the right of way the larger object rules the day! ( Twenty-eight feet from me to shoes, and six weeks to recover too! Where she came from I have no clue, back then we didn't know how to sue!) Mix alcohol and snowmobiles to make for one painful ordeal! ( My one attempt at backward flight, not much distance or much height, a third of a kneecap's better than none, up to that point it was fun!) Wheelie riding while on a bike should be saved for the younger tykes! (A three foot distance to the ground will cause you to make "Owwie" sounds, concrete sidewalks, softer grass, no doubt where I set my a**!) To demonstrate your first slam dunk don't wait until you're quite that drunk! ( A shoulder plant from eight feet up's not good for your rotator cup, NBA star? No way! I ain't, and broken bones can make you faint!) And so my history of flight became the subject of this write, up to this point there, younger guy, I have no doubt that we can fly! |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Doc, you have truly been missed! Excellent work, as fun to read as I'm sure it was to write. Perfect internal rhymes, meter, comedy and filled with sage advice for moose and men.Bravo, mooseman!  |
||
|
Eterne Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 75Quebec, Canada |
Hello sweetheart, how are you today? I just wanted to tell you: It is good to dream, and beautiful... Sometimes dreams do come true: One day you will have that brother you’ve always wanted to have; strangely enough, he won’t be your sibling nor your relative, yet he will be closer to your heart than anyone else you’ll ever know in your entire life. Does he know about you? No, he does not know yet but when you will meet he won’t ever forget, because he misses you since the day he was born, same as you miss him: in your play, in your drawings, in your stories, in your dreams... Will he love you? Yes, with all his heart and soul. Will you be together forever? Sorry baby, the answer to that question I still do not know... Let’s dream together: Sometimes dreams do come true. It is good to dream and beautiful... Eterne E. S. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Do you mind very much, Sir 'Deer, if I take this idea and run with it straight to our poetry/writer's meeting this week? I was given the honor of being the moderator for more than one week in a row... and I needed a really fresh idea. What do you say, sir? |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Eterne, that is precious. You wrote it with such tenderness and delicasy, I was completely caught up in it. Very beautiful work.... Sunshine, my ideas are your ideas. I'm honored to have you use it....please do so and share with us how your writers did. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh, I will, and thank you... This is how I've framed the task! quote: As you can see, we have folks who don't know from a land line phone... ...so I am hoping you are okay with the additions to the initial request. I will most certainly let them know that some or all of their writings might be shared...  and great thanks! Please let me know if you have any additions, suggestions or comments before we meet on the first Monday of August. |
||
|
Eterne Member
since 2010-07-21
Posts 75Quebec, Canada |
Thank you, Balladeer! |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
What possible suggestions could I have for people who don't know from a land-line phone?? No, it sounds great, Sunshine. It will be interesting to see how it turns out!  |
||
|
s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
Oooh, I'm going to write something for this, but I'm taking your advice. It'll take some time, but I'm excited cause it'll be interesting to see how I'd address myself and what would follow in uh....my conversation with myself. -Trina. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
(tingling with anticipation, Trina!) |
||
|
s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
"Ice Cream" "Hewo" she said "Hello,little girl how are you today" "I'm happy, I had ice cweam with my daddy and we went to the pwetty beach" *Wow, who would've thought that those- such simple things, made one happy* "Do you like ice cweam" "Well, apparently I love it, but its been awhile since I've truly enjoyed it." "but why?" "Well life is busy I don't have time for such trivial things" "trivial? like games? oh, I love games!" *games? I had to smirk* "no sweetie, not games right now, enjoying isn't so important" "liar! it is important" she shot back "Ice cweam makes people happy you have to be happy, love yourself so people will see and do the same. My daddy said so!" *such arrogance this little girl she'd argue with a brick wall if she thought it was wrong* "Sorwy, my daddy is calling me bye bye" with that it had ended and I was left with this emptiness so I walked to the kitchen took out a pint of "Ice cweam" as she said, and enjoyed all the memories came rushing back and I cried tears of joy and here I thought I made the call which traveled through space and time to give my younger self some needed advice who would've thought at the age of just five I'd teach myself to love. _____________________________________________ At first I thought, "What would I tell my younger self?" and as I read through some of the replies here, I wasn't really excited about this. THEN I thought, "How could I spin this?" and it hit me Instead of trying to teach my younger self something, it would be interesting to see what I could LEARN  and here it is. Enjoy. Oh and on a side note, I think by now we all know I'm not really a fan of structure and stuff  -Trina. "A heart that can't feel its broken- can't heal." |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Wow, Trina! I am beyond impressed. What an amazing idea to turn the tables and have the younger self do the teaching. There is so much truth in that, too. SOmetimes we get so wrapped up in unimportant things in our lives we forget about the simplicities that used to make us happy, even when it is something as seemingly trivial as how good that ice cweam tasted! You may not be a fan of structure but I am certainly a fan of yours!! |
||
|
Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
Out of the mouths of babes! I adored this one! |
||
|
s1nfully_1nn0c3nt Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105Watertown, NY |
Ah, Thanx so much Balladeer  -Trina. |
||
|
sasanka7 Junior Member
since 2010-11-17
Posts 30 |
Mr. Balladeer, Whenever I read your poems, comments, I feel enriched. I am contented with your views and outlooks. I am so impressed that I could not help but to say you are a genius and gem to piptalk.com. sasanka |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
That is very high praise, sasanka, and I think you very much for it (whether it be deserved or not!) |
||
|
Prasad Nataraj Senior Member
since 2008-05-29
Posts 1149Bangalore,India |
Fine exercise this Sir and enjoyed the tread very much. Many brilliant works here. Got to agree with sasanka7. "Hardwork pays in the long run" |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
