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Teen Poetry #2
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-01-25 06:21 PM


Two souls grew shackled to the granite,
Now find each other in demand.
Inside a glass, their spinning planet
Dropped like a single grain of sand
Into eternity, whose portrait
They find inside a moment’s gaze
Their eyes, that had the will to forge it,
Stand blinded by loving grace.
They seek no other, but the one
Who has appeared before them then,
When in an hourglass they’ve spun
Chained to a single grain of sand.


© Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
poetry_kills
Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
1 posted 2000-01-25 06:41 PM


master: i really like this one... the title drew me in... very interesting idea and very well presented   i'll have to read more of your works when i have some more time...

sincerely,
jerome the boy with no brain

 A savage place! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover!
~Coleridge

Dean
Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120
Canada
2 posted 2000-01-25 07:47 PM


All I can say is that your a true poet. Keep up the tight rymes!!

 "Live to love or why live at all"
Deano :)


Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
3 posted 2000-01-25 08:10 PM


Thank you jerome, glad you liked it.

Dean, I'm far from being a true poet, but I'll get there one day, Thanks

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 01-25-2000).]

Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
4 posted 2000-01-25 08:13 PM


wow!
that was an incredible poem... great descriptions...

im a little confused with the hidden meanings and symbolisms and such...

 Regret for things you did maybe tempered by time, regret for things you Didn't do, however, is inconsolable...
-------823-------



Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
5 posted 2000-01-25 11:25 PM


Exactly...what a way of showing the feeling..I can relate completely.  Beautiful, intriguing, exellent work.  I am truly impressed.

 *Krista Knutson*

~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack,
Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare,
Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water,
Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha


abra-cadabra
Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 75
Florissant, Missouri, USA
6 posted 2000-01-26 01:50 AM


This is absolutely amazing. Beautiful work! I love it!
childomine
Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL
7 posted 2000-01-26 08:28 AM


Beautiful!!  I look forward to reading more of your work!
Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
8 posted 2000-01-26 02:09 PM


Again, thank you everyone for your kind replies.

Star Fairy, let me clear it up a bit. In this poem I'm comparing our planet to a grain of sand falling in an hour glass. Two people (lovers) even when their time on earth expires (they fall into eternity), in heaven still seek only each other. The interesting thing with this poem is comparing and contrasting insignificance with greatness (planet with a grain of sand, eternity with a moment's gaze and even two people being chained to a grain of sand). To tell you the truth, when I began writing, I didn't know what I was going to write about, but I guess it came out ok. Thanks again!

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