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Teen Poetry #2
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shyone
Junior Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 10


0 posted 2000-01-17 05:13 PM


I wrote this for a girl named Jonnie.  What can I say???  She takes my breath away.  I just wish that she knew how I feel and that I had the courage to tell her.  Anyways, here goes...

Your beautiful eyes,
Bluer than any ocean,
Deeperthan any sea.

Just to be loved by you,
To be held in your heart,
For that I plea.

Your flowing blond hair,
Runs down your back like water,
Running down a trickling stream.

To hold you in my arms,
To kiss your soft sweet lips,
Are things that exist only in the sweetest dream.

Your glistening smile,
Sends a rush through my body,
And brightens up my face.

I long to hold you,
In a warm and sweet,
Loving embrace.

© Copyright 2000 shyone - All Rights Reserved
Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
1 posted 2000-01-17 06:30 PM


Good job on the poem.  I wrote one somewhat simmilar to yours.  As far as a title goes,  I could only think of "Cherish Affection". Something you you truly yearn for yet, you can nessisartly have it. Just a suggestion though.
Tamma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV
2 posted 2000-01-17 06:48 PM


*Stands up and claps* i love what youve done with this...and if i may say, she is one lucky girl
sweetcollege_girl
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
3 posted 2000-01-18 01:18 PM


I go with Jer...but how about Cherished Affection...sounds better. no offense Jer  
LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

4 posted 2000-01-18 02:09 PM


This is a VERY good poem! I can really relate. Keep up the good work!  

 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

Dean
Member
since 1999-11-23
Posts 120
Canada
5 posted 2000-01-19 12:30 PM


Thats a tight poem!! Keep up the good work up!!

 "Live to love or why live at all"
Deano :)


angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
6 posted 2000-01-19 12:27 PM


That is a WONDERFUL poem!  I agree with Jer and Sweetcollege_girl on the title (Whichever one you like better, of course!).  I can relate to what you're saying, too.  Keep it up!!

 "Sometimes people care too much. I think it's called love." -Winnie the Pooh

Kitty
Junior Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 20
Paris, Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2000-01-19 05:12 PM


Great poem, this girl must be something.

 He has made everything beautiful in its time
Ecclesiastes 3:11

Kitty

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