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Teen Poetry #2
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Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa

0 posted 2000-01-15 02:13 PM


That Mysterious Boy No One Knows About

Caught in the soul of a complex being
On the pathways to his heart, in the middle of dreaming
Exploring unknown territory and grossly disbelieving
The treacherous journey to get to what I’m seeking

Constantly lost in the whirlpool of his eyes
Reaching out to find a carefully hidden surprise
Recklessly fumbling through the entwined
Invited in and left alone to get past his disguise

Standing before the steel walls of his heart
Magic words force the doors to part
Trembling, nervous and anxious to start
Exploring those nooks and crannies of his intricate heart

Helplessly trapped in the astonishment and wonder
Lost forever, influenced by the spell I’m under
But comfortably residing, never to hear the thunder
Living an eternity in a self-proclaimed eighth-wonder…



 Don't Fall.. Rise in Love
-------823-------


© Copyright 2000 Rakhee - All Rights Reserved
Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
1 posted 2000-01-22 04:42 PM


i was just wondering ... this one felt a little lonely .. so i was wondering if anyone would like to comment on this... por favor  

 Regret for things you did maybe tempered by time, regret for things you Didn't do, however, is inconsolable...
-------823-------



Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
2 posted 2000-01-22 06:41 PM


Interesting...  but lonley like you said.  I had to read a couple of times to understand what you were talking about but I think I got it now. Good job.

P.S. "nooks and crannies"?  Are we eating english muffins?!  LOL  Sorry....  I felt compeled to write it.

Nights
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56

3 posted 2000-01-23 10:36 AM


Hey, nice poem. I really like the detail you put into it.

 "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh
it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE

Mistikman
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
4 posted 2000-01-23 11:22 AM


great poem. I like all the descriptive words. It helps spice up the poem a lot.

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

Star Fairy 2
Member
since 1999-09-06
Posts 260
cerritos, california, usa
5 posted 2000-01-23 12:50 PM


thank you...

p.s. hehe yep i think i was eating english muffins...

 Regret for things you did maybe tempered by time, regret for things you Didn't do, however, is inconsolable...
-------823-------



Oo0ostephanio0oO
Member
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194
Massachusetts ~USA~
6 posted 2000-01-23 06:32 PM


i really liked this one alot

the words were so descriptive




 (:***Stephani***:)
"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."


abra-cadabra
Member
since 1999-06-21
Posts 75
Florissant, Missouri, USA
7 posted 2000-01-26 02:24 AM


I really like this one. Very descriptive words. It's great!!
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