navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » Tethered
Teen Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Tethered Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
New Member
since 1999-12-12
Posts 3
Washington, DC

0 posted 2000-01-13 03:22 AM


Reel me in,
cast me out,
these depths have always been between us.
I'm used to it now.
This rope,
tying me to you,
is like a noose
or a lifeline
depending on the day.
No matter how far out,
you can't make me stop caring.
I can't make me stop caring.
But even this far from shore
I can see the red around your eyes,
the tears pooling to fall
and I wonder why I'm out here.
But when I call to you
begging to help,
to hold,
to be your friend,
why do you tell me that everything's fine?
Is it the same reason I'm out on this rope?
Dangling on this string?
Every day
I think I've come to understand you
until I realize
I don't know who you are.
Let me in.
Let me understand.

 "Touch passion when it comes to you. As rare enough as it is, don't walk away when it calls you by name." ~Marcus Cole, Babylon 5

© Copyright 2000 Nimue De'Chesne - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
1 posted 2000-01-13 10:35 AM

Wow, excellent poem, very well done. I am sorry for your situation, it is very difficult when someone will not let you help when you want to more than anything else.
Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
2 posted 2000-01-13 10:36 AM

Oh, and BTW, welcome to passions
I didnt notice right away that it was your first post  

Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
3 posted 2000-01-13 11:19 AM

nimue: welcome to passions   i hope your experience will be a pleasant one... i like the poem fairly well (though i'm really a big fan of short free-verse) but i would like to see a bit more about the "rope" metaphor... you start off with it well, then leave it behind until the end [by which time i'd nearly forgotten what you'd said about it before]... this is just a personal opinion, but i think the poem would be more powerful and more coherent if you talked more about why it was like a noose one day and a lifeline the next... also say what you mean by those two things... overall, i think this is an wonderful piece [especially for your first post]... hope to read [see?] more of you soon...

**jerome the boy with no brain

Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-01-13 01:40 PM

Welocme to Passions. I enjoyed your first post and am looking forward to seeing more from you.   Check your e-mail.
since 1999-07-26
Posts 152
Brooklyn, NY, USA
5 posted 2000-01-13 10:56 PM

Great poem! The only advise i have 4 u is to let the person be. Don't push it. If u do, it'll  only make things worse. If that friend really will want help, he/she will ask 4 it. Good luck
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » Tethered

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary