Untitled (need suggestions)

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Teen Poetry #2

Untitled (need suggestions)

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 1999-12-13 04:24 PM

Kayley, they call,
you can hear them but
they are not there.
Kayley, they call,
their breath,
in the air.
Kayley, they call,
a bad girl
you are.
Kayley, they call,
but the seem
so far.
Kayley, they call,
we know,
what you did.
Kayley, they call,
you're
just a kid.
Kayley, they call,
lurching,
to grab you.
Kayley, they call,
a thousand,
knives stab you.
Kayley, they call,
they
really are there.
Kayley, they call,
but from where?

Marilyn
Member Elite

since 1999-09-26

Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

1 posted 1999-12-14 09:48 AM

I have 2 suggestions. First the light green is very difficult to read....

. The other is for the title. How about They Call?

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

2 posted 1999-12-14 04:11 PM

well, it wasn't supposed to be green, it was supposed to be black, but I guess we can thank my little sis for that. And They Call sounds like a good name to me.

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

3 posted 2000-11-08 04:31 PM

thanks.

Morning rain fell on my window, and I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be gray, put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

4 posted 2007-11-15 07:45 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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