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Teen Poetry #2
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your love
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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your love |
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STACY Junior Member
since 1999-11-12
Posts 10veiNNie,ny |
he passes by me, and i look at him, i see past his looks, and into his heart, it warm and sweet, I now know that, he is the one for me, he looks back at me... and then turns away, he doesnt return the feeling, because he turns away to my bestfreind, they huge and walk away together, my heart gets get cold, and i start to cry, i fill the air with moans, and the ground with tears, my heart is broke, but after time it will mend. i want to know if you like this if you dont tell me what to fix i will take all ideas. |
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| © Copyright 1999 STACY - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions Stacey. First off I would like to say that I can not understand how you can know such things with just a glance? This is your poem and the theme is yours to create. As for how to fix this piece. First off ythe only punctuation you use here is commas. You need to break it up more with periods. Capitalize after the periods. The form seems to be free verse, therefore I see nothing wrong with the format you followed. Good work and keep writing.  |
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