For my friend... - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #2

For my friend...

Nikkisweet
Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 183
Tx, Dallas

0 posted 2000-06-10 09:01 PM

I know things are bad
Don't be sad
I know it can be rough
Please be tough

Don't frown
Write your thoughts down
Maybe in a letter
Don't worry it'll get better

Try eating some junk food
It might put you in a better mood
Go for a walk
And maybe a little talk

Just know that I'm there for you
And that I love you too
Put on a smile
As long as a mile

CLBinLOVE
Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA

1 posted 2000-06-12 04:02 PM

now i know ive felt the way this poem does before, its like the one person you love is either in a bad mood or had something going on in their lives or theyre mad at you, but theres nothing you can do about it but say i love you and hope that they pull through it.
this poem is a little short, but still strong and gets the point across, i also like the rythem sceme, simple yet still, gets the point across. i cant think of anything that i would change in this poem! keep writing!

always follow your heart, never follow others unless it is truely where you want to go, and never give up a dream, maybe just set it aside for a while... :)

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

2 posted 2000-06-13 03:39 AM

Overall, I enjoyed reading the poem. The part that struck me most was the realism in it. You used real parts of life and things people do to create the scenes. It was, on the other hand, lacking a little bit of vocabulary usage or other uses of words that can create more emotions. Keep em comin and I'll keep reading.

Jeremy D. Halstead

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

3 posted 2007-11-15 07:25 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

~frustrated writer~
Member

since 2008-02-25

Posts 84

4 posted 2008-02-28 10:14 AM

your poem's great!.
fantastic! =)

**LiRa**

Aditi
New Member

since 2008-06-06

Posts 3

5 posted 2008-06-06 06:54 AM

A cute and a nice one. Short and sweet.
I personally liked it

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.