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since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.

0 posted 2000-02-07 10:30 AM

<font face="Arial, Arial, Verdana" color="#871f78" size="2">
This is a poem that was inspired by Salooma and kari's poems.

I have tried
and yet I fail.
I've done everything
everything but wail.

My older sister
you want me to be.
Can't you see
she is not me.

I can't do it
tis not easy.
For as most can see
you keep me busy.

Clean the house
Put YOUR shoes on.
What will you do
when I am gone.

I can't take it
it makes me tired.
For only in the morning
am I ever wired.

When i get home
is when u start.
You say I am slow
and not very smart.

Where's the thank you's
the tenderness and care.
Where's the love
that you and my sister share.

I feel as not
apart of this family.
I begin to wonder
will anyone love me.

I wish I were a daughter
and not a slave to be used.
I want to be loved
not emotionally abused.

Can't you see
this is me.
Can't you love
who i want to be?

I will love you
my parents you are.
But your love for me
will forever be afar.


[This message has been edited by chic (edited 02-09-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Barbara Mendoza - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872
just about where I want to be
1 posted 2000-02-07 11:54 AM

Great poem hit the nail right on the head! Dad is always talking about connie, and "Why can't you be like her?" etc. why can't we be daughters instead of slaves??? I wish he could see what he is doing is wrong..    wishful thinking huh? *sigh*


p.s. i liked the poem....

 "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it.
For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to here it
For every love, there is a heart somewhere to receive it".--Ivan Panin

since 2000-01-31
Posts 228

2 posted 2000-02-07 04:24 PM

I really like the poem, though I don't have a suggestion for the title, though I completely identify with it!

 "The worst of what people do to one another is deceive.
Because when you love someone you control their version
of reality. If you lie to them that's like making them
autistic so that what they believe is reality is in fact,
not their true situation at all.

Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

3 posted 2000-02-07 04:28 PM

Great poem chic.....I have an older sister as well and know exactly how you feel. It's hard trying to live up to their expectations and when you get tired of it and try living up to your own expectations they can't accept you for who you've become. Life's defianatly a beach(sorry about that) and there is nothing you can do about it.


[This message has been edited by Jer (edited 02-07-2000).]

Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

4 posted 2000-02-08 10:06 AM

well I never felt like this as a daughter, but as a wife yes, really good job of putting your feelings to words....and for a title, if it was me I would simply title it "can't you see?"
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2000-02-08 12:55 PM

Chic, you poor baby! Oh you broke my heart! I'm so sorry your parents' are too blind to see you for who you are, a very sweet girl. I have two step daughter's and they are the light's of my life right along with my son. I hope you know it's not your fault, and it won't last forever, you'll be gone before you know it.   -SEA
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

6 posted 2000-02-08 04:17 PM

Thanks Jer....I was hoping that didn't ofend anyone.


Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA
7 posted 2000-02-08 06:15 PM

Ahhhh, family problems, I know thee well. In my case, I have to live in my sisters shadow, with no hopes of ever filling it, no matter how much better than her I ever do. How about "Dear Mother and Father" as the title?

 I am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion

Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964
8 posted 2000-02-08 07:44 PM

To name this poem is certainly not easy
Well done how you presented your feelings
Perhaps may I suggest
"Love wanted"
"Take me as I am"
"What must I do"
There are so many that come to mind
I liked the poem

 The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools.

since 2000-01-11
Posts 264
houston, tx.
9 posted 2000-02-08 09:47 PM

hum, about "Love me as I am"

Great job of expressing your feelings...Sooner or later they'll see you for who you are...

It's sad that you should live in a shadow..but stick to yours guns and be yourself..

 "To live is to love; To truly LOVE is to live!" ~kg~

since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
10 posted 2000-02-09 09:34 AM

Attention one and all I have decided on a title and the winner is...


 To be or not to be...that is the question.

Junior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 39
11 posted 2000-02-10 10:13 PM

Thank you.  I really understand this poem.  It isn't easy, especially when you really love them and you really love your sister. How can you tell them when you don't want to hurt them? It's hard.  Thank you.
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
12 posted 2000-02-11 06:21 PM

Interesting! I know not what you speak of in this poem but, I know someone you should talk to about this. LoveBug is in if not the same situation something simmilar to it. she wrote about it and posted a poem about 3 weeks ago. Ask her about it. I know she loves to talk!


since 1999-12-08
Posts 200
Yuma, AZ USA
13 posted 2000-02-11 07:35 PM

I know this situation all to well.  I wish i didnt, but i do.  This poem very well states what is felt during those times.  keep up the great poetry writing.

since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
14 posted 2000-09-25 12:28 PM

Thanx guys!! This may sound conceited but I kinda thought me and sis were the only ones in this perdicament, but now I know better don't I? Well thanx for the replies.

"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!

since 2000-01-26
Posts 245
yellville, Ar, U.S.
15 posted 2000-11-29 12:37 PM


"Life is a game and we have to play, but in the end...we all die."-by me!

since 2000-06-17
Posts 67

16 posted 2000-11-29 03:12 PM

Yeah I've been where you are right now.  I hate trying to live upto my sisters expectations and never quite managing to achieve this.  Hopefully they will see you for who you are! Great poem.

Love Deb xxx

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
17 posted 2007-11-15 07:45 PM



~frustrated writer~
since 2008-02-25
Posts 84

18 posted 2008-02-28 10:52 AM

sooner or later, they would realize that you're far greater than your sister.
that there's more to you than what they always thought.
they just have to give you time and let you show what you've got.
despite of that compares you got, i'm very sure that your parents are proud of you.
cares for you.
loves you.
perhaps, you didn't see it because your heart is filled with so much hatred. is hatred the right term to use?


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