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Teen Poetry #2
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Junior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 49
Muncie, IN

0 posted 2000-06-07 11:08 PM

Another dark shadow is cast across my path.
Another rotted tree falls on the road.
My way is blocked, and I cannot find another.
I was happy when the sun shared her rays with me,
when she kissed my face with her warmth.
When the night came, I was not prepared.
The sun left me, and I was scorched by her.
I brought the night upon myself, turning from the light of day
and looking upon the night without reason.
I partook of the forbidden fruit.
I stole away in the night, basking in its darkness.
I never should have betrayed the light.
Never again will I give in to the darkness.
I just want my sun, and her glorious warmth.
Such is my pain, the pain I have brought upon myself.
How do I know what choice my sun will make?
Will she come back to shine upon me once more?
Will I never again feel her warmth?
Only time can tell, and only time will heal.
My soul is harrowed up in torments unspoken.
My heart is rent to know of what I have done;
to know what pain my sun must have felt.
Will she return?  I do not know.
I only know that she once smiled upon me.

© Copyright 2000 Jeffrey Frazier - All Rights Reserved
Junior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 49
Muncie, IN
1 posted 2000-06-08 04:30 AM

I forgot to date this poem.
The date is 6-7-2000

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2000-06-08 02:18 PM

funny it seems that the one you actually care for is the one that doesn't see or maybe refuses to even open their eyes to even take a glimpse
since 1999-09-23
Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa
3 posted 2000-06-08 02:32 PM

Great poem. It's kinda deep, but so true. Many times we don't know what we want, but when we finally do, sometimes we are too late.

 Waves...amazing hey? Wind blowing over smoothe ocean water creates shear. The longer the wind blows, and the futher the fetch, the more energy gets transferred from the wind to the water. What started off as a breeze 1 000km away, ends up as a glass-faced barrel at some far off beach.

since 2000-06-04
Posts 147
Hilton Head, SC, USA
4 posted 2000-06-08 03:12 PM

i like the way you wrote this poem, its very deep, and makes the reader really think about what he's/she's reading, i especially like the analogies
keep it up!

 always follow your heart, never follow others unless it is truely where you want to go, and never give up a dream, maybe just set it aside for a while... :)

since 2000-04-09
Posts 491
5 posted 2000-06-08 04:03 PM

It was a nice poem and when we feel that something we had all along is goin away and we can't stop it in any away. Thats very vague situation. Is it better to let it go or stick on for some more time. It burns.


since 2000-05-28
Posts 152
6 posted 2000-06-08 05:07 PM

I love the metaphors you've tells alot about how you feel...great!

 "You could be my unintended
Choice, to live my life extended...." Muse

"Even when we're apart we'll still be under the same sky," LJ Smith

"Hiding in the musty attic is Elusive
She sits, cross legged in a midst dark cobwebs
Several forms scurry to seek shelter
Beneath her levitating shadow.
Her back rigid , eyes glassy
Gazes intently at time escaping
Sliding, smoothly, as sand sprinkles
Through the hour glass,
A single tear grazes her misty cheek." Lani

Junior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 49
Muncie, IN
7 posted 2000-06-08 08:55 PM

<font face="Times New Roman, Arial, Verdana" color="#871f78" size="2">Acire, the one that I care for sees, it's just a monstrous sight to see.  You see, I betrayed a trust, and the repricussions resulting were not to my desire.  You see, knows and sees, she just refuses to look more than she has to.

CLBinLOVE and Lani_DarkOne, the figurative language is very prominant in my style.  If you would like to read more of what I have posted, you can find me in Dark Passions Forum.  Two recent poetry posts I have made are "A New Home" and "The Pain I Gave Away."  Both of these were written while I was up until 5 AM this morning(central time).

Amazon_lover, the situation here is very vague.  If you want some more clarity on it, E-mail me.  I would love to hear from you.

TearsOfPearls, how true, how true.  I would suggest to you my poem "The Pain I Gave Away"  I think that you would enjoy the call for what I want, and possibly in now gone.

Thank you all for your comments.  You are all welcome to E-mail me with any questions that you think I may not want to answer on a public forum.  I love E-mail, and I love poetry.  It is the speech of the soul.

Love you all... thanks!
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[This message has been edited by Jeffyf (edited 06-08-2000).]

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
8 posted 2007-11-15 07:07 PM



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