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Teen Poetry #2
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Junior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 45

0 posted 2000-06-03 01:56 AM

not knowing how things would turn out,
i took a chance and introduced my self to you,
and you politely excepted my introduction..

years went by and we became closer friends,
i knew everything about you
and you knew everything about me...

you knew i would do anything i could for you
and i knew inturn you would do the same.

the day came when we went off to college
you got excepted to one
and me another

now were miles apart
and can't see each other as often as we want to.
but i know you'll always be their..

like you were before..
from now
until forever...

you'll always be my best friend
that i love and will hold
dearly to my heart...


LoL this one stinks!!!!!! sorry people haven't been here for along time.. been studding for my finals..  sorry i'll get better i promise(hope).. well i hope you respond... hi bec...!!!

© Copyright 2000 SwEEt&iNnOcCeNt - All Rights Reserved
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
1 posted 2000-06-04 05:38 AM

You've got a nice grasp on your format and rythm and stuff.  Your meaning is clear too.  I like it.  I guess the only bit of constructive critisism I have for ya is that it seemed a little more like a letter than a peom... but some are meant to be like that, so I'll give ya some slack..hehehe j/k.  I wanna see some more.  Check out my stuff, would ya?

Jeremy D. Halstead


Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

2 posted 2000-06-18 02:07 PM

Don't be so hard on yourself,that was good.  I can relate.  Keep writing!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
3 posted 2007-11-15 07:28 PM



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