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Teen Poetry #2
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Matchstick McGee
Junior Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 26
Austin, Texas

0 posted 2000-05-23 06:25 PM


Return to Grace

Mother, you are close to losing your child
Despite his laugh, his energy, his smile
Take his hand and hold it awhile
Before he takes his own life

You do not know where he has been
The things he has done, the pain he is in
You must start now if you are to begin
To heal his internal strife

Father, you are close to losing your son
Though it does not show, his love you've won
Your boy is heading to be overrun
By his hidden guilt and shame

His soul is lately dark and cold
He is too young, he feels so old
You must grab on, take careful hold
Help rekindle his spirit to flame

Companions, you are close to losing your friend
You see but do not comprehend
The emotions he is keeping penned
His terrible wound inside

When he says he's fine, he's lying
Inside himself he's always crying
His mind is ever so slowly dying
He thinks of suicide

If for this boy you all do care
Know that he is in despair
Hopelessness is threatening to tear
His life from your embrace

So tell him you love him, I do urge
You can oull him from the verge
With your help he can emerge
And perhaps return to grace


Feedback is welcome

     -Matchstick

[This message has been edited by Matchstick McGee (edited 05-23-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Christopher Chupco - All Rights Reserved
Daysleeper
Member
since 2000-04-23
Posts 119

1 posted 2000-05-23 07:09 PM


This is an extrodinary, and extrodinarily sad piece of poetry... The metre is wonderful, as are your images. Is it about someone in particular, yourself? Hidden pain in general? In any case it's great, and I esspecially like the last.

...Daysleeper...


 "We prefer to do things comfortably" said the Controller.
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin."
"In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy."
"Alright then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy." -Aldous Huxley "Brave New World"



Lucius Cade
Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235
Saskatchewan
2 posted 2000-05-23 09:40 PM


I will admit I was a bit suprised because from the title I wasnt expecting your poem. But although it is a great poem, it is so sad, and so true for many people.
But you cant expect people to see your pain unless you tell them, or ask them to help. If you wait for someone to save you it will never happen, you have to save yourself.


 Lucidity is the answer to all problems

Crystalina123
Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 228

3 posted 2000-05-24 03:53 PM


I can slightly understand where you're coming from. I believe that this is a very powerful poem that I like alot.

 "The worst of what people do to one another is deceive.
Because when you love someone you control their version
of reality. If you lie to them that's like making them
autistic so that what they believe is reality is in fact,
not their true situation at all."

It's not the angry words that break the heart, it's the silence.

Someone said that true love is like a ghost -- often spoke of but never seen.
I've seen both and yet in my darkest hours, tend to believe that neither exits.

poe_32
Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 179
Winnipeg, MB, Canada
4 posted 2000-05-25 01:27 AM


Life is such a precious thing, something I believe should be taken seriously. Your poem really touched me, and I hope this isn't you. No matter how bad things get in life, it's not worth taking your life, you have too much going for yourself right now and no one wants to see someone with potential to end it. If you want people to help you, you have to open up to then and let it all out, I know from personnal experience I too felt this way but I finally opened up to a good friend and if it wasn't for them I don't know how I could have made it. You were put on this planet for a reason, to live your life to the fullest. I don't want you to forget that there is people who really care for you and love you a lot. So try to look at your life at another side, the sunny side and realize your not worth ending your life because the world isn't ready for you to leave yet until you time really does come, when your much much more older and ready. Rememeber that people will be there for you when you let them know you need them to be there, and if you need to talk you know you can come to me and e-mail me whenever you need to talk to someone. Don't forget what I told you, and smile!!! poe
Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

5 posted 2000-05-25 04:35 PM


Wow! That's all I can say...I don't want to try and analyze this grand piece of poetry. I love the way it's written and the style, but it's so dreadfully sad....I hope the young man in this poem is not infact the author, because his talent is too precious to give away in death. Wonderful piece  

Salma

 "Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders."

Matchstick McGee
Junior Member
since 2000-05-15
Posts 26
Austin, Texas
6 posted 2000-05-25 06:51 PM


Thank you all for your replies (and consideration). The "boy" of the story has been me at times, but it's for anyone who has been there, to show that some people know exactly how they are feeling, and for anyone who hasn't, to help them understand.

     -Matchstick

Novacaine For The Soul
Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122
New Orleans
7 posted 2000-05-26 02:12 PM


matchstick: first of all, i love your name... secondly, this poem is excellent... there are a number of rough edges that could use some chipping away at, but all-in-all it flows superbly well... i was impressed by the way you took what would normally be an awkward construction and made it flow smoothly into the rest of the stanza... keep up the good work and dont forget to take your own advice and let others know you care...

sincerely,
just a little novacaine for the soul

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