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Teen Poetry #2
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untitled (I need a title)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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untitled (I need a title) |
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Frosty Junior Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 17 |
untitled Depressing tones decorate the sky Bleak and grey, a charcoal impression In the sand A sorrowful bird that's lost it's wings Hobbling, white against the now black sky An abusive hateful conscience Badgering the souls of those unholy Silvery stars brighten the sky So black with hate Somehow it wouldn't end the same Had the stars not come to-night The moon now shining It's un-true artificial light The stars keep promise to guide Heaven sent thee With thy bars of gold Thy special light brightens my dull blue eyes And sends me far from hell For somehow radiant beams shine Glowing, sparkling, and beautiful Luminating my pained soul And entagled web Spun by the ornery spider A heavenly mess weaved in the dark The end I feel Is coming soon Prepare the way, for it will come And I will be ready |
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| © Copyright 2000 Frosty - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
WOW! This is quite a descriptive and powerful piece. I have not read much of your work but I will be looking forward to reading more of it. Your opening verse is a great one for it gives a bleak feeling. It sets the entire mood and you have carried it through out the poem well. Great work! ~AF~ "Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement." Christopher Fry |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
suggestion..."Dark Tempest" ~~nice writing~~ A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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the dark angel Junior Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 37 |
hey, powerful stuff! I look forward to reading more of your work. How about "the rays of your light"? The dark angel -x- |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Jaw droping! Exsqusite detail and reviting passion, i look foward to future works. Perhaps, " Dark Night By unholy light", its a smitgen gothic... ------------------------- "Sometimes i regret what i have done, but i never regret why i've done them" |
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Frosty Junior Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 17 |
I don't know, it's a toss up between Dark Night By Unholy Light or Dark Tempest. I can't choose, some one else give me your opinion of which one I should choose. |
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Daysleeper Member
since 2000-04-23
Posts 119 |
In the words of the famous Dezi Arnaz... "Ay yi yi yi yi!" This is amazing! I like "Unholy Light," but you may not need a title at all... this poem is gorgeous and speaks for itself.  ...Daysleeper... "We prefer to do things comfortably" said the Controller. "But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin." "In fact," said Mustapha Mond, "you're claiming the right to be unhappy." "Alright then," said the Savage defiantly, "I'm claiming the right to be unhappy." -Aldous Huxley "Brave New World" |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Wow!! What a poem!! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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