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Teen Poetry #2
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Walking Away
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Walking Away |
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MrHat Junior Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 34Gilroy, Ca |
The wind carries leaves across the landscape We walk alone through this place No words are spoken Our hearts are full We come to a gate Where you must go one way And I the other A friendly glance shared Your hand slides from mine Slowly You walk away I watch as you grow farther away I shout your name But you cannot hear me I sit upon the ground And watch till you are gone Engulfed in a sudden fog A solitary tear falls from my eye You’re so beautiful today Each time like this We part our ways To see each one another day Tomorrow perhaps? The day after that? When we part like this It is not a permanent loss For I can see you tomorrow But every time you walk away Seems like the last I call you later We talk a while But again You have to walk Into sleep ----------------------------------- This is something totally random that I just started typig...it was inspired when I watched a girl I love (but is not my girlfriend Sort of a crush, only much deeper) walk home after the poetry club meeting at school. Im not sure I am done with it...Im not sure I will finish...Im not even sure if I like it...it just started flowing...and begged to be let out. [This message has been edited by MrHat (edited 05-10-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Brad B - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Daysleeper Member
since 2000-04-23
Posts 119 |
Hey, I really like what you have here so far. It could use some polishing, sure, but then what that we write is ever truly finished? Very good subject you have here, and very good imagism you've created... The gate, solitary tear, parting ways. Very nice. Don't give up on this one. It's got some real potential. ...Daysleeper... "Presently I've had enough of all your sanity." -James Kavanaugh |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Ah, hopless romance... Walking away is hard to do, you captured it with stunning grace and beauty. And some advice (not that you should probably take it  But hey, you live but once, if you like this girl, by all means tell her the next time you see her! |
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MrHat Junior Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 34Gilroy, Ca |
Deranger- Strange...  I have followed your advice before you gave it to me...I told her...but...she has a boyfriend...and I knew that before I told her...but I had to get it out...that was in febuary...lol...."Some people react physically to the magic of poetry, to the moments, that is, of authentic revelation, of the communication, the sharing, at its highest level....A good poem is a contribution to reality. The world is never the same once a good poem has been added to it. A good poem helps to change the shape and significance of the universe, helps to extend everyone's knowledge of himself and the world around him." -Dylan Thomas (1913-1953) |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Walking away is indeed a difficult thing to do...for you never know when it will be the last time you walk away. Deep images and wonderful sentiment. I like it a lot. *Krista Knutson* ~We are only truly lost when we have lost ourselves~ |
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the dark angel Junior Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 37 |
I know that feeling well, and I think it's great how you got it down into words. It's good you told her because you only live once and you can't go thorugh life thinking, " I wish I had done that." Keep up the good writing. the dark angel -x- |
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