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Teen Poetry #2
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Junior Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 34
Gilroy, Ca

0 posted 2000-05-10 07:47 PM

The wind carries leaves across the landscape
We walk alone through this place
No words are spoken
Our hearts are full
We come to a gate
Where you must go one way
And I the other
A friendly glance shared
Your hand slides from mine
You walk away
I watch as you grow farther away
I shout your name
But you cannot hear me
I sit upon the ground
And watch till you are gone
Engulfed in a sudden fog
A solitary tear falls from my eye
You’re so beautiful today
Each time like this
We part our ways
To see each one another day
Tomorrow perhaps?
The day after that?
When we part like this
It is not a permanent loss
For I can see you tomorrow
But every time you walk away
Seems like the last
I call you later
We talk a while
But again
You have to walk
Into sleep
This is something totally random that I just started was inspired when I watched a girl I love (but is not my girlfriend Sort of a crush, only much deeper) walk home after the poetry club meeting at school. Im not sure I am done with it...Im not sure I will finish...Im not even sure if I like just started flowing...and begged to be let out.

[This message has been edited by MrHat (edited 05-10-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Brad B - All Rights Reserved
since 2000-04-23
Posts 119

1 posted 2000-05-10 09:42 PM

Hey, I really like what you have here so far. It could use some polishing, sure, but then what that we write is ever truly finished? Very good subject you have here, and very good imagism you've created... The gate, solitary tear, parting ways. Very nice. Don't give up on this one. It's got some real potential.


 "Presently I've had enough of all your sanity." -James Kavanaugh

since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
2 posted 2000-05-11 01:22 AM

Ah, hopless romance...
Walking away is hard to do, you captured it with stunning grace and beauty.

And some advice (not that you should probably take it But hey, you live but once, if you like this girl, by all means tell her the next time you see her!

Junior Member
since 2000-04-15
Posts 34
Gilroy, Ca
3 posted 2000-05-11 07:13 PM

   Strange... I have followed your advice before you gave it to me...I told her...but...she has a boyfriend...and I knew that before I told her...but I had to get it out...that was in

 "Some people react physically to the magic of poetry, to the moments, that is, of authentic revelation, of the communication, the sharing, at its highest level....A good poem is a contribution to reality. The world is never the same once a good poem has been added to it. A good poem helps to change the shape and significance of the universe, helps to extend everyone's knowledge of himself and the world around him." -Dylan Thomas (1913-1953)

Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
4 posted 2000-05-12 10:34 PM

Walking away is indeed a difficult thing to do...for you never know when it will be the last time you walk away.  Deep images and wonderful sentiment.  I like it a lot.  

 *Krista Knutson*

~We are only truly lost when we have lost ourselves~

the dark angel
Junior Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 37

5 posted 2000-05-13 04:34 AM

I know that feeling well, and I think it's great how you got it down into words. It's good you told her because you only live once and you can't go thorugh life thinking, " I wish I had done that." Keep up the good writing.
the dark angel

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