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Teen Poetry #2
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a thought of you
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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a thought of you |
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brendon2k Junior Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 38none |
and to this day that i still wait, still sitting up alone, though i know it's too late, i know i cant live without you, all this time that has passed me by, still every time that i try, this lonelyness i keep inside, but now it's much to hard to hide, i wish i could live without you, this infatuation's much to strong, is this love or am i wrong, every night i think about you, to have loved, and to have lost, this feeling of regret, the feeling of being without you, and now your gone, but i wont see, i felt this for much too long, i wish this all worked out diferently, i wish that you and i could be, |
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Frosty Junior Member
since 2000-05-06
Posts 17 |
Hey, that was good, the only problem that I was able to spot was the rhyming, it was uneven, and somewhat forced. Other than that I really loved it. Great poem, keep it up. |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
ah, the thing I like about your writing is it follows no "real" rhyming scheme, although the trace of rhyme flow is always there. hard to explain I guess, hehe, i like the poem. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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the dark angel Junior Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 37 |
the thing I like about your poetry is that it comes straight from the heart so it has no real need for rhyming. Keep it up. The dark angel-x- |
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