Teen Poetry #2 |
Said and Done |
snowgirl17 Junior Member
since 2000-04-24
Posts 20Cloquet,Mn |
When it all been said and done. God will you raise them up. Did they do their best to live for you. But was it enough. When it all been said and done. A date will mean everything. For fozen in the relm of time. Will be the moment gone. When it all been said and done. I wonder will I go. To the tresure trove Or fire pit. On time will stand the test. So we live our life from day to day. Is it all enough. Should we stand in the old or focus on the new. Lane C. |
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© Copyright 2000 Lane C. - All Rights Reserved | |||
son of man Member
since 2000-04-25
Posts 125 |
"when its all been said and done" is a great poetic concept in my opinion, so apparently you have the characteristical mind-frame of an intellectual poet. i read your poem, and i understand your thoughts-to an extent. poetry's beauty, i believe, lies in the depths within the individual from which it comes. this poem , in my opinion is very beautiful. |
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7 Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113Amherst, MA, USA |
this is one of those simple but profound poems... it's really quite intriguing. something i think about everyday - the questions that can't be answered, no matter how hard we try. another thing, it reminds me of a poem i wrote a few years ago. i can post it if you want to hear, but i wouldn't want to steal your topic or anything. great job! 7 |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
~~when all is said and done, tis better to focus on the new~~~~~ Nice writing~~~~~ A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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4eva_at_heart Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238 |
this is simple...but...wow! is this a first post?? welcome to Passions! like son of man said...te repitition of 'when it all been said and done' works great! keep up the work...hope to see more soon Bec i never thought i'd die alone, i laughed the loudest who'd have known? i traced the cord back to the wall, no wonder it was never plugged in at all i took my time, i hurried up the choice was mine i didn't think enough I'm too depressed to go on, you'll be sorry when i'm gone I never conquered, rarely came 16 just held such better days Days when i still felt alive, we couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over i'd survived I couldn't wait till i got home, to pass the time in my room alone I never thought i'd die alone, another six months I'll be unknown Give all my things to my friends, you'll never set foot in my room again You'll close it off, board it up Remember the time i spilled the cup Of apple juice in the hall, please tell mum this is not her fault I never conquered, rarely came But tomorrow holds such better days Days when i can still feel alive, when i can't wait to get outside The world was wide, the time goes by The tour is over, i've survived I can't wait till i get home, to pass the time in my room alone 'Adam's Song' Blink 182 |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions. A very nice introduction of yourself. I have to agree with Danny's reply, focus on the new. Well done. |
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