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Teen Poetry #2

I cherish you fall...

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-04-05 04:26 PM

I cherish you Fall; you’re my love and my curse
I’m dying of thirst; my fatigue pays its toll
I beg you, don’t stall, order clouds to burst,
I will crawl to the puddles to fill up my soul

Here you stand on the edge, facing your fate
And the time will not wait, turning over the page
It will set off the change, not a second delayed,
Immature at your age you will vacate the stage

Drop by drop, leaf by leaf, you are closer to snow
I observe you in awe, with a great disbelief,
Not a wrinkle of grief even though you must go
And with less time to breathe only higher you heave

Only higher you rise in a whirlpool of leaves
While nature’s striptease attracts all the eyes
And you flee in disguise while nobody sees
Then you cease to exist slowly shrinking in size

Dusk Treader

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN

1 posted 2000-04-06 05:00 PM

Wow! This was great! You have a great talent with words. I enjoyed this poem, your metaphors and your personification of fall. Very cool

Abrahm Simons

"...Watching fate as it flows down the path we have chose" - Trent Reznor, "We're in this Together"

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

2 posted 2000-04-06 08:57 PM

Thank you!

Isabelle
Member

since 1999-08-25

Posts 176
Indiana

3 posted 2000-04-06 11:09 PM

Wonderful job!! Great personification and use of words. You write the greatest poems.

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

4 posted 2000-04-07 06:44 AM

Thank you for such a kind response Isabelle!

LyricFetish
Senior Member

since 2000-01-13

Posts 528
North Carolina

5 posted 2000-04-08 04:02 PM

Hey, well I just got around to reading this one. Powerful stuff here, once again a fantastic poem. You never cease to amaze me. GGGGRRRRRREEEEEAAAAAATTT! (great)

MeReDiTh

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