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Teen Poetry #2
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Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-04-02 03:15 AM


*The last line is in Russian, it literally means, "It's still to early, It's still to early..." and ofcourse it rhymes with stretcher.


The blaring gusts no longer come to soothe,
The wind and I no longer share one course!
The law of motion says that one can’t move,
Unless he’s acted on by certain force.

The winds blow by my ship with no effect--
They only pass right through the ripped up sail.
From boredom, I recall, in retrospect,
The days when I would ride upon the gale, --

The days when rats were jumping overboard,
When lighting struck, so viciously and surly,
When out of might and strength, I often thought,
“It’s still too early, it’s still too early!”

I spin the rudder in despair, both night and day,
But the predestined plot’s proceeding
And motionless, my ship will only sway
Upon the waves, -- forthcoming and receding.

I’ve lost my track on this deceiving trek.
I’m out of breath, the blurry mist I swallow!
The rain won’t cease; it pounds on the deck, --
Not everything that’s from above is hallow.

But I refuse to scream out, “S-O-S!”
I will not leave my ship upon a stretcher
My lucky stars continue to suggest, --
*“Åøå íå âå÷åð, åøå íå âå÷åð...”


© Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
1 posted 2000-04-02 07:44 AM


This is a lovely poem. I like the way there is sign of giving up.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie


Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
2 posted 2000-04-02 02:52 PM


Thank you Lizzie!
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
3 posted 2000-04-03 12:57 PM


"I spin the rudder in despair, both night and day,
But the predestined plot’s proceeding
And motionless, my ship will only sway
Upon the waves, -- forthcoming and receding."

-I especially loved that verse.  Extremely well done..there's definitely a reason why you're called the Master.  


 *Krista Knutson*

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
~*Albert Schweitzer*~

Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
4 posted 2000-04-03 04:15 PM


I'm not very modest,-- that's the reason! Actually, "Master" is a character in one of my favorite books "Master and Margaritta," that's where I got the name! Thank you for your kind comments.
**Angel**
Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 162

5 posted 2000-04-03 04:36 PM


Lovely poem. I love this piece of work.

Thank you

Lindsay

Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
6 posted 2000-04-03 06:45 PM


Thank you Angel, btw cute nickname!
Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa
7 posted 2000-04-03 08:23 PM


I agree with alwye, I took to that verse as well.  It really stands as a knock out blow to the reader, who will surely set themselves up to read it again,

I love reading your stuff, as it reflects so closely to my style,

awesome man, awesome

tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
8 posted 2000-04-03 09:08 PM


Well done
This was a great read, I enjoyed it very much


 Keep all the windows of your mind open
Anne Rooks

Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
9 posted 2000-04-04 06:45 AM


Kevin, Likewise (and I don't say it to many) I love reading your poems. Keep it up. Thank you for responding!
Thomas Jono
Junior Member
since 2000-03-30
Posts 25

10 posted 2000-04-05 12:59 PM


hi, i like this poem. it shows a sense of scariness...hehe...anywayz, hope you write some more poems...nice work, and good job..

Thomas Jono

LyricFetish
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
11 posted 2000-04-05 10:21 AM


As usual Master, you have written a MASTERpiece here. <no pun intended,  > I love reading your poems because they are always so beautiful and thoughtful, and they also challenge me to use my "analytical thinking" while reading.  After I read through a few times and decipher each line, there is always a deep meaning. In simple English, this poem rocks, and you do too!  

Gazing at your words in awe,
Meredith

 *There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)


Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
12 posted 2000-04-05 04:21 PM


Thank you LyricFetish, I have to say that you have impressed me with your work as well. Your reply to my challenge was excellent, thank you!

As for the meaning in the poem, it may not be that clear. There was an image in my head-- an old vessel which was always pushed by the wind, until the wind ripped the sail and now the wind blows straight through the whole in the sail and the ship cannot move.
Also, this poem is a dedication to a russian poet, Vladimir Vysotsky. Many of the lines and images used in this poem, I got from his poetry. So, if you were familiar with his work, this poem would make a lot more sense.

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