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Teen Poetry #2
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ILoveSrfrs
Member
since 1999-11-14
Posts 69
California

0 posted 2000-03-29 09:03 PM


The ways to go our countless
The list would never end
But, why did you pick death
Is my question for you, friend

You were loved by everyone you knew
You weren't thinking when the gun was at your head
Thought you would wake up
But now your in the ground, cold and dead

You were always everyones favorite
How could you not see it?
When I think of how you left us all
It's too hard to believe it

We didn't see your pain
Or those deep dark words you wrote
The first time I heared those thoughts
Was in your suicide note

Your lonliness makes me sob
Your sorrows make me weep
I think back to when we met
Those memories God will let me keep

But God took you away from me
My lucky number seven
He took you all for himself
With the others up in heaven

When I see pictures
And reminders of the past
I feel hurt and pain and guilt
It was all my fault you didn't last

Your eyes looked into my soul
Your voice still haunts my ears
And until we meet again
I will look back on happier years

You were my best friend
And you still will always be
You are now my guardian angel up in heaven
Watching over me

© Copyright 2000 ILoveSrfrs - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
1 posted 2000-03-29 11:21 PM


Exellent job in expressing your emotions.  Well done!

 *Krista Knutson*

~*Only when trudging through the soul's darkest midnight can one truly appreciate the glory of the sunrise*~



Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
2 posted 2000-03-30 11:59 AM


This is so sad, and well written.  The first few lines really speak so well when one thinks about this unfortunate subject.  There is a lot of desparation and depression in the world and it's so sad that some decide to take this fatal step.
You did a nice job relating your feelings.
Nice work!

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
3 posted 2000-03-31 05:30 AM


This is a chilling poem. Very beautifully written. I am very sorry for your loss. It is hard to understand why someone takes their own life. Don't blame yourself, just support the rest of your friends in every way you can. It isn't too late.

Love and hugs,
Lizzie.


  

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2000-03-31 05:35 AM


This is a very touching poem. But don't blame yourself for the death OK. The best thing that you can do is keep his memory alive in your heart and never forget him.

~AF~

 What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger



natalie
Member
since 2000-04-02
Posts 56

5 posted 2000-04-09 03:19 PM


suicide is a real sad thing, and this poem expresses these feelings very good, excellent job,
natalie...

ILoveSrfrs
Member
since 1999-11-14
Posts 69
California
6 posted 2000-04-09 07:29 PM


Thanks everyone for your nice replies! They really mean a lot to me!!
hoppy
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 271

7 posted 2000-04-10 12:48 PM


ok i'm a little late but by the title i thought it was going to be another over emotion slaying of words.  But this is accually good!  I'm impressed, slant rhyme mostly, not many people that i see writing in that style.  I like it, keeps predictable couplets out of it and makes it more interesting to read.  Nice job showing the other side of this event also, in your part about not seeing his thoughts until the suicide note.  I really liked that part.  Shows exactly how noone really cares or looks into someone until they are dead or try to die, they're insignificant in body and mind until we think they might be departing.  *applauding*

 "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it."
Henry David Thoreau

Don't look... you might see.
Don't listen... you might hear.
Don't think... you might learn.
Don't walk... you might stumble.
Don't run... you might fall.
Don't make a decision... you might be wrong.
Don't live...you might die.

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