Teen Poetry #2 |
it will all be over soon |
emptyness Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95mobile,Ala,USA |
right now i cant be with you i cant handle the pain i really dont know what to do all i know is im going insane the time ill stay away has no determined size ill show up at your door with tears in my eyes even though i know youll love me nevermore friends to the end well alwayse be and that couldnt make me more glad but ill alwayse want you closer to me and i think there will alwayse be a part of me that will be sad but ill get over it "scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write |
||
© Copyright 2000 emptyness - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
ahh the inforgettable line between friendships and relationships are sometimes crossable, but what is meant to be will be and if you really want this person, you will have them in the end. Otherwise great poem. ~AF~ |
||
pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
good poem -- just a little response: this pain you feel it hurts me too. it's become all too real, the fact that you are gone so i will give you this space and hope that you're back soon because no one wil ever replace the whole in me you fill there is a fine line between friends and more than such and you will always mean more than such. |
||
angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
I like this poem a lot. I know the feeling all too well... ~Kristi Lynn |
||
Mellon Collie Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 49united states of america |
dear emptyness, this is a subject that i think nearly all of humankind is well-acquainted with (sadly). let me say that true friendships do not end this way. if this person realizes how he/she hurt you, and if he/she truly cares about you, then they will welcome you back with open arms and a forgiving heart. poetically i like this piece, though i really didn't care for the last line, and i also feel that the next-to-last line could use some reshaping. perhaps consider combining the two ideas expressed there into a more concise statement of sorrow and resolution? just a suggestion. sincerely, the beautiful freak |
||
ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
That line, crossed many times, I hope you find happiness in the end. |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |