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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-03-09
Posts 95

0 posted 2000-03-23 11:40 PM

right now i cant be with you
i cant handle the pain
i really dont know what to do
all i know is im going insane

the time ill stay away has no determined size
ill show up at your door
with tears in my eyes
even though i know youll love me nevermore

friends to the end well alwayse be
and that couldnt make me more glad
but ill alwayse want you closer to me
and i think there will alwayse be a part of me that will be sad

but ill get over it

 "scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write

© Copyright 2000 emptyness - All Rights Reserved
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
1 posted 2000-03-24 06:50 AM

ahh the inforgettable line between friendships and relationships are sometimes crossable, but what is meant to be will be and if you really want this person, you will have them in the end.

Otherwise great poem.


since 1999-11-13
Posts 251
2 posted 2000-03-24 05:14 PM

good poem -- just a little response:  

this pain you feel
it hurts me too.
it's become all too real,
the fact that you are gone

so i will give you this space
and hope that you're back soon
because no one wil ever replace
the whole in me you fill

there is a fine line between
friends and more than such
and you will always mean
more than such.

since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
3 posted 2000-03-27 09:53 AM

I like this poem a lot.
I know the feeling all too well...
~Kristi Lynn

Mellon Collie
Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 49
united states of america
4 posted 2000-03-27 11:41 AM

dear emptyness,
     this is a subject that i think nearly all of humankind is well-acquainted with (sadly).  let me say that true friendships do not end this way.  if this person realizes how he/she hurt you, and if he/she truly cares about you, then they will welcome you back with open arms and a forgiving heart.  
     poetically i like this piece, though i really didn't care for the last line, and i also feel that the next-to-last line could use some reshaping.  perhaps consider combining the two ideas expressed there into a more concise statement of sorrow and resolution?  just a suggestion.

the beautiful freak

Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
5 posted 2000-03-27 12:08 PM

That line, crossed many times, I hope you find happiness in the end.
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