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Teen Poetry #2
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Lucius Cade
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235

0 posted 2000-03-24 02:29 PM

The power from within

Have you ever stopped to feel
Your veins beneath your skin
They are the essence of your movement
They are your power from within
If you think about it long enough
You can trace them to your brain
But take my warning and do not think
It will make you go insane
You will start to feel your heartbeat
Louder, louder it will get
until no longer can you focus
And no longer can you forget
You try to go out in public
To get away from all the strain
But in every person, all you see
Are those wretched, evil, veins

 Lucidity is the answer to all problems

© Copyright 2000 Lucius Cade - All Rights Reserved
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
1 posted 2000-03-24 06:51 PM

Wow, this is awesome! I can so see what you are saying. Wonderful poem, I'm very impressed. You rock.

 *There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)

Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
2 posted 2000-03-25 01:20 AM

I'm impressed too
this was great

 Keep all the windows of your mind open
Anne Rooks

Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
3 posted 2000-03-25 02:53 AM

This is a great poem. I liked the nice even flow that you had through've got me paranoid about veins now....


since 2000-02-12
Posts 238

4 posted 2000-03-25 03:11 AM

ack! this poem is like beyond great! i love it!! and i understand the message wonderful work! enjoy the praise! lol!


Mellon Collie
Junior Member
since 2000-03-25
Posts 49
united states of america
5 posted 2000-03-27 12:01 PM

dear lucius,
     as i noted on your other work "i cry out in vain" this is absolutely superb writing.  i'm actually getting to be a bit jealous *heh*.  i love the shift in this poem in line 7 and the way that it gets more dramatic as it draws towards the ending.  a very solid and well-crafted poem.  of course, for me it's always been the sound of footsteps *heh* if i get the rhythym in my head then i'm lost until i manage to find solitude *heh*.

the beautiful freak

Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
6 posted 2000-03-27 12:16 PM

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