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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-02-21
Posts 76

0 posted 2000-03-13 11:48 PM

I know that I love you
With all my heart and soul
Without your love for me
I don't think I'd feel whole
But somewhere in my heart
i like this other guy
I don't want to hurt you
But I can't stand to lie
He makes me so excited
The way he looks at me
he makes my calm heart flutter
He just won't let me be
I want to stay in love with you
I want the thing we share
But I want to kiss that other guy
And show him that I care
But I'm with you so I can't have him
And I think I'm breaking his heart
I love you, but I like him too
And my heart is being torn apart

© Copyright 2000 Tara - All Rights Reserved
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
1 posted 2000-03-13 11:58 PM

Very lovely poem, though I think that, with your talent, some of the rougher places could be smoothed out a bit better.  It's very real to life though and that's good.  Nice job.


 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
2 posted 2000-03-14 01:54 PM

I agree with Astraea. Some places in this are rough and could be smoothed a little with just a tweek here and there. Over all a nice piece.  
since 2000-01-19
Posts 194
Massachusetts ~USA~
3 posted 2000-03-14 05:15 PM

Hey hon, this was good, but there a few rough places. So what's up with you and your X, now? E-mail me soon sweetie!

"A true friend will always stay a friend
whether or not you feel as though the friendship or relationship is about to end."

Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528
North Carolina
4 posted 2000-03-14 05:43 PM

I think you did a nice job on this, with your rhymes and all, my only advice to you is make sure you aren't mistaking lust for love. (strong feelings that are easy to confuse) Nice work.

 *There is no destination where we are
Please take me somewhere far
Far away from this world of mine*
(by me)

since 2000-03-13
Posts 119
5 posted 2000-03-15 03:49 AM

Hi great poem!!
I was in this situation once and Its rough...
You gotta make a choice though you cant have your cake and eat it too... You will end up losing them both.. tell the guy you love you need space and would like to take some time to see if you really want what ya got with him then see whats up with guy 2...

since 2000-02-21
Posts 76
6 posted 2000-03-15 10:28 AM

Thanx for all the comments.  I wrote this poem a while ago, so the sitution is over.  I loved the guy but i liked the other guy.  We had some problems and i knew it wasn't fair to either guy so i took a break from both of them for a while.  i am currently dating the guy that i like, not the one i loved.  thanx again for all the help.
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