true love Compared to my past

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Teen Poetry #2

true love Compared to my past

huney_mel
Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 52

0 posted 2000-03-12 10:15 PM

I love it when you hold me,
So very close to you,
I love it when you talk to me,
And feel the same as i do.
I love it when we kiss,
Soft and tenderly,
I love it when you are near,
Or when you're close to me.
I love it when you laugh,
You're just so sweet to me,
I love it when you smile,
But theres still more to see.
I love it when you play with my hair,
Or massage or scratch my back,
I love it how you do things for me,
As i know im very slack.
I love it when we talk,
Or when you hold my hand,
I love it when we go to the park,
Away to our special land.
As you can see i love you,
And i want this time of my life to last,
I'm so happy when im near you,
Compared to alkl my past.

DragonFang
Senior Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 522
Missouri, USA

1 posted 2000-03-12 10:24 PM

very nice poem. Think that maybe some of the lines could be smoothed a bit, but that is a minor detail and can easily be overlooked. You have great potential, hope to see more from you. Welcome to passions.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." I am lost in my own mind.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2000-03-12 10:38 PM

nice work. Like dragon fang I agree that some lines need to be smoothed out but overall this is a good poem. let me guess.....Glenn is the guy?? or maybe it is elvis again.....

EJ

Astraea
Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now

3 posted 2000-03-13 12:10 PM

Lovely poem. Not as smooth as it could be, but lovely nonetheless. Doesn't alter the pure affection in it though. Very nice.

Welcome to Passions and especially the Teen Forum.

~Astraea

"Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."

Singer1981
Member

since 1999-12-02

Posts 148
Fredonia, NY USA

4 posted 2000-03-15 09:32 AM

Mel,
It seems as if I've gotten to your other poems before this one. Anyways...this was really great. This guy is lucky to have you love him so much. And if I ever feel this way about someone...I might just borrow your poem.

~Sarah

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