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Teen Poetry #2
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cold night air -- inspired by emptyness ;o)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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cold night air -- inspired by emptyness ;o) |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
i can't stop shivering is it the cold night air, or is it you? i am in your arms again and it feels so right, so why can't i stop shaking? we try to laugh at pointless statements, trying not to hear the constant silence. but there are moments when we just lie there quiet, unable to find words for what is in our heads. it's so cold outside even in each others arms, the chill creeps in and engulfs us. we try to fight it off because we know that with this chill comes cold faces, hands and hearts, but it is still all around us. why can't i stop shivering? |
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| © Copyright 2000 maria g robinson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Astraea Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now |
Very good poem, pharon. Sort of stumbles on one or two sentences, but it doesn't take off some of the effect it has. Keep up the good work.  ~Astraea "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness." "Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things." |
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emptyness Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95mobile,Ala,USA |
pharon i am honored to have inspired you to write such a good poem keep up the good work "scribere iussit amor" love commanded me to write |
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4eva_at_heart Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238 |
i like this. this is a really great post keep up the good poetry Bec |
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dazed Member
since 2000-03-13
Posts 119USA |
this poem is okay... i just favor ones that rhyme alot for some reason... but according to the people who like poems that dont have alot of rhyming gone on they think its great so must be!!! Dana 8o) |
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angel6917 Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478WI |
I like it very much. Emptyness must be proud to have inspired such a poem. Good job. ~Kristi Lynn |
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