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Teen Poetry #2
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4eva_at_heart
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 238


0 posted 2000-03-12 09:11 AM


emotions running through me
excitement in the air
a dream coming true
so precious and so rare

singing voices in my head
a thrill running down my spine
everything so seemingly perfect
a pause in place and time

i feel like i am soaring
through clouds, past moon afar
a visit to our love
embedded in the stars

words you uttered set me free
i will ponder and worry no more
you have made it clear to me
exactly what we stand for

together in our presence
in my hand i will hold yours
we will stroll together
along the most puriest of shores

a warm embrace i dream for
from me to you a kiss
to hold each other close
a state of unimaginable bliss


© Copyright 2000 Bec - All Rights Reserved
DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
1 posted 2000-03-12 11:16 AM


hmmmm... Well I can't really think of a tittle that would work, but that is a very nice poem, very touching.

 "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." I am lost in my own mind. ;)

LunarFlame
New Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 9
Nova scotia, Canada
2 posted 2000-03-12 10:33 PM


how about "this moment forever"?



 8oÞ much luv and marshmallows,
LunarFlame(LF)

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
3 posted 2000-03-12 10:40 PM


Or perhaps "The Moment I Dream For"?  Or something like that?  Exellent work though, you did a great job!

 *Krista Knutson*

I do this so this world will know that it will not change me....-GB


anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2000-03-12 10:42 PM


Great work Bec. This piece so touching and it is about time that all those paranoia's floated away.

EJ

huney_mel
Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

5 posted 2000-03-12 10:57 PM


well dont bec, i love you,and so does this guy obvioulsy! not saying any names  
heheheh
love ya!
Love always
Melly   aka huney_mel

huney_mel
Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 52

6 posted 2000-03-12 11:01 PM


bec, plz ring me cos my icq is stuffing up....read my mummy poem, its all true, and i hate icQ!
love mel
XOX

angel6917
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 478
WI
7 posted 2000-03-13 10:32 AM


Good job on the poem, Bec.  I can't help you with a title, but I love your poem.  I understand the excitement you feel and your happiness- my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time this past Friday.  It made me so happy, and I've never been this excited about my feelings for somebody or their feelings for me before.  So, like I said, I understand how you feel...
~Kristi Lynn

Jer
Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 443
USA
8 posted 2000-03-13 12:56 PM


Great work. This was a very nice read. As for a title... I would try, "Cherished Affection". Thats just a suggestion though. Good luck on your choices.
dazed
Member
since 2000-03-13
Posts 119
USA
9 posted 2000-03-14 04:57 AM


bec you said you werent that proud of this one and i thinks its awesome!!! I like the words and rhythm very good its romantic too!!hehehehe
love
dana

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » any ideas on a title?? i was too excited to think of one!:)

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