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DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA

0 posted 2000-03-10 10:57 PM


A dark shadow ever decending
Covering all the land
The trees, the bushes, the plants all wilt
And the animals begin to starve all 'round

A war decends and men fall dead
And carrion eaters thrive
Men, women, children, their blood all spilled
The rivers flowing with red

A child's cry, a woman's scream
A horse falls dead by spear
A bow string hums, a man falls down
The battle rages near

Swordsmen clash and archers loose
Everyside taking tolls
One side falls back, regroups his men
The battle calls again

His men arrayed, he prepares to die
The shout of "charge!" goes out
The men, they fall, and buzzards fly
The mothers only cry

Battle has no glory in killing men
For not just men do die
But hoe and justice and peace die too
Yet there is nothing we can do

© Copyright 2000 Samson C. Justice - All Rights Reserved
Astraea
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 378
California! Yeah! Okay, I'm done now
1 posted 2000-03-11 12:19 PM


The second to last line should have a 'p' in it to make hope.  Otherwise, it looks funny.


The trees, the bushes, the plants all wilt
And the animals begin to starve all 'round


A horse falls dead by spear


*cries*  A war piece that mentions the noble steeds of the soldiers!  Yeah!  And the habitation around them!  Even better.

Very drear poem.  But if it was written in detention, I can understand why.  Very good.  

~Astraea




 "Sometimes stars can only be seen in darkness."

"Sorrow's crown of sorrow is remembering happier things."



emptyness
Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 95
mobile,Ala,USA
2 posted 2000-03-11 12:25 PM


i dont know what else to say but i like it very cool DF
DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
3 posted 2000-03-11 12:44 PM


Astraea: all I can say about the 'p' is, oopie. It is supposed to be hope, guess it is just one of those little typos that happen when your typing. As for drear, well Mr. Caulter was really getting on my nearves and we had been talking about war in western civ. seventh period so.... *shrugs*

emptyness: that is a lot better than what the counselers said after they got ahold of a copy of it. They think that I was in some kind of emotional trouble, the truth is I had just fogotten to take my anti-depressents the night before, and so my mind turned to this kind of thing. But thanks, I'm glad you like it.

anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2000-03-11 08:45 AM


great poem. I can relate to what happens when I forget my chill pills  

Detention always brings out the best in people doesn't it....hehe. Good work either way.

~AF~

Ashiraladoni
Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 52
Duluth, MN, USA
5 posted 2000-03-11 12:58 PM


Great poem DF. I like your work. Keep it up!
Ashiraladoni

 " To be free, or to be enslaved, that is the question."

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

6 posted 2000-03-11 04:43 PM


A great poem, and so true. Keep up the good work, and stay out of detention! LOL

 "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

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