Teen Poetry #2 |
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bring it back |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
bring me back one of the old days and no longer will i wish no longer will i wonder whatever happened to us bring me one solid standing and sweep my soul away and don't leave me here standing alone as ever before return me in a hurry and stop feeding me the hate that's buried so deep in me in brief disguise i want the world in peace i want my mind and soul i want to escape from this horrid discussion bring back the memories when i was young bring back the love and carring i need now bring back the heart i owned as a child and take away the misery the pain the aching i've entered the world in chours and now i depart with this take my life away now take my only tenderness I don't know what to do with this one. It's just so many thoughts all cluttered I guess. And suggestions are definatly welcome! Please! [This message has been edited by Salooma (edited 03-06-2000).] [This message has been edited by Ron (06-25-2011 10:17 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Salooma - All Rights Reserved | |||
Paul Hoekman Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382Harwinton Ct. U>S>A> |
I think you've done well with this one. But my advice would be not bring it back but find newness in the future memories are nice but present and future is Life. And it can become whatever we want it to be. |
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devil_tongue Member
since 2000-03-02
Posts 50 |
I agree with paul in regards to his comment. Leave the happy memories where they are and find even more joyful ones in your future. All in all, good poem. |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Paul and devil_tounge: Thanks for repling. You guys are right, but sometimes I just wish everything was different. Everyday I wish I was living a day that had passed and I guess I had to for once write about it, it's just some stuff I'm going through. Glad you liked it. Salma "Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders." |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Would agree with the others. Look to the future for that is where you will be spending you life. Learn from the past but don't try to relive it. I feel your a good writer and I look forward to more of your work. Good luck. |
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