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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-01-31
Posts 89

0 posted 2000-03-01 06:48 AM

It passes by me a question in the air,
So soft and cool, I can feel it on my face,
It's a mystery maybe , I don't know what it is.
For me it's a touch  , everywhere it lives,
It breathes me at night , when I m deep in my sleep,
Waking me up from the sweetest of dreams.
It could be my summer, it could be my rain,
'Could be a sweet gush of wind , or maybe its my pain,
At night I can feel it lingering at my window,
Forces pull me towards its mystic glow,
I talk to it for hours to come,
A memory it becomes when I feel the sun,
Days go by , but nights are the same.
Maybe its my summer or maybe its my pain!


© Copyright 2000 faith - All Rights Reserved
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
1 posted 2000-03-01 10:38 AM

Excellent!  A fine poetic style I think.
You are a fine writer!  I hope it's your summer, and not your pain.

Paul Hoekman
since 1999-12-28
Posts 382
Harwinton Ct. U>S>A>
2 posted 2000-03-01 03:16 PM

Really Wonderful!
So very deep
yet so very simple
Keep On Writing.

Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
3 posted 2000-03-01 06:54 PM

faith: i like the repeated line a lot... very well-crafted... i think the poem loses a lot of its early tightness as you head into the second part, but other than that i think it's very well done

jerome the mysterious priest

 And their bleating was like a wet salmon
slapped upon the land---slap! slap! slap!

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #2 » What is IT?

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