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Teen Poetry #2
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I write and i write....
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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I write and i write.... |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
Sitting besides the river I write and I write, Pouring inside my heart and soul, Lights and laughter surround me, Smell of wine and whiskey breath, Drunken men fighting over dancing women, Faces look at me , white yellow and black, An alien among them , they give each other secret mocking glances, But I write and write, Past , present , future Waves whispering secrets, Singing a new song each time they kiss my feet, So proudly they sing , like a songwriters dream, Water reflects a million faces , a million years , So still ,so dead , once long ago… I wait and breathe. Until tall buildings begin to fade , laughter dies I am all alone, wind blows dust in my eyes , bringing tears But I write and I write, running out of past present and future, As the world shrinks before my eyes, No more roads , but muddy tracks, No more cars , but people walking, I am at a place I want to be A life I will always seek, Where mountains grin down at me, Lovers holding hands.. Playing mates hiding behind shadowy trees, Yes….That where I belong Where I want to be .. So sitting besides the river I write and dream.A |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
I feel this is well written. Your phrasing is very good and it flows real well. Enjoyed reading this. It should have more responses. Best wishes and keep writing. |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
faith: yet another intriguing piece... i like the description of the dancing people by the river... for some reason my mind conjurs up images of fire along with this... reminds me of dancing around and watching all the drunk people at the House of Blues in New Orleans down by the river... anyway... all that to say that i like it  sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest And their bleating was like a wet salmon slapped upon the land---slap! slap! slap! |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
ho ho ho, i lovum muches! i really dig it! you are a talented poet rich-pa |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
Thank u all..i really have a big head now  !PK ...on the other hand ..i would love it if u tell me where i lack... faith |
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Cuz it is not lacking! this is wonderful just as it stands...the flow...the visuals...don't change a thing!! Got some talented folk in here...I will have to come here more often... I love the time and in between the calm inside me in the space where I can breathe... Sarah McLachlan |
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