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Teen Poetry #2
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since 2000-01-31
Posts 89

0 posted 2000-02-27 01:59 PM

Sitting besides the river I write and I write,
Pouring inside my heart and soul,
Lights and laughter surround me,
Smell of wine and whiskey breath,
Drunken men fighting over dancing women,
Faces look at me , white yellow and black,
An alien among them , they give each other secret mocking glances,
But I write and write,
Past , present , future
Waves whispering secrets,
Singing a new song each time they kiss my feet,
So proudly they sing , like a songwriters dream,
Water reflects a million faces , a million years ,
So still ,so dead , once long ago…
I wait and breathe.
Until tall buildings begin to fade , laughter dies
I am all alone, wind blows dust in my eyes , bringing tears
But I write and I write, running out of past present and future,
As the world shrinks before my eyes,
No more roads , but muddy tracks,
No more cars , but people walking,
I am at a place I want to be
A life I will always seek,
Where mountains grin down at me,
Lovers holding hands..
Playing mates hiding behind shadowy trees,
Yes….That where  I belong
Where I want to be ..
So sitting besides the river I write and dream.A

© Copyright 2000 faith - All Rights Reserved
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
1 posted 2000-02-29 12:30 PM

I feel this is well written.  Your phrasing is very good and it flows real well.
Enjoyed reading this.  It should have more responses.
Best wishes and keep writing.

Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549
new orleans
2 posted 2000-02-29 05:32 PM

faith: yet another intriguing piece... i like the description of the dancing people by the river... for some reason my mind conjurs up images of fire along with this... reminds me of dancing around and watching all the drunk people at the House of Blues in New Orleans down by the river... anyway... all that to say that i like it  

jerome the mysterious priest

 And their bleating was like a wet salmon
slapped upon the land---slap! slap! slap!

since 2000-02-07
Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana
3 posted 2000-02-29 07:14 PM

ho ho ho, i lovum muches!  i really dig it!  you are a talented poet


since 2000-01-31
Posts 89

4 posted 2000-03-01 01:37 AM

Thank u all..i really have a big head now !PK ...on the other hand ..i would love it if u tell me where i lack... faith
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
5 posted 2000-03-01 02:42 AM

Cuz it is not lacking!  

this is wonderful just as it stands...the flow...the visuals...don't change a thing!!

Got some talented folk in here...I will have to come here more often...

 I love the time
and in between
the calm inside me
in the space
where I can breathe...

Sarah McLachlan

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