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Teen Poetry #2
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gentle night
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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gentle night |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
the stars floated in their deep black sea like wooden ships of days of old gently moving from one point to the next. and a gentle wind wisped and played grabbing autumn leaves fresh fallen from trees and took them on a loopy ride to their final resting place. and quietly i sat there under an old, wide oak listening to the everpresent symphony of the creatures of the night: a croak in the black distance, spiny legs rubbing together to rival Paginini, the low hoot of nature's oboe. and i sighed a deep sigh of exhaustion and rested my weary eyes a bit thinking how happy i was to be alive. |
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| © Copyright 2000 rich cooper - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Nights Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56 |
This was an interesting poem. You described the simple things in life very nicely.  "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
I loved this....you could actually see and feel this with each word. If only everyone could appreciate the simple things in life. They say only a few people in this world actaully do. The people who have died and the poets. You're certainly a poet for realizing that. Great job! Salma "Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders." |
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poetic_butterfly Junior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 25illinois, usa |
i like it, it's really well-written. i like the imagery as well. i love the phrasing you used and the comparisons. keep up the good work. ....the words that stand still are often the ones that move us most.... |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Draw me another picture would ya? I'm having a beautiful dream....... I'm in love with your poem. It was so blissful, no thinking required on our part. Marvelous work. "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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peanogrl83 Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 202 |
WOW! I LOVE this poem! First of all, it transports me to a place that is not currently inundated with 4 feet of snow. :.) Secondly, you have a gift, my friend! You have created a vivid word-picture (as I call them.) that conveys some very charming imagery. :.) The ability to take what could be (on the part of the unimaginative) a mundane observation into a reflection on life is proof of your talent! Awesome job, and I hope to see more of your work soon! Vreni |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
rich-pa: man, you make me want to go back to louisiana again... and that takes some powerful writing... i really like this piece... in fact it's one of the best i've read from you yet, i'd say... you'll have to take me out to the bayou over spring break so we can live this out  i'll be looking forward to it...sincerely, your bud, jerome the mysterious priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
no problem jerome |
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faith Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 89 |
Hey rich-pa that was too good!I could feel it all ..and also what u were feelin ..the diff is that i was sittin besides the river! faith |
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Sheilan Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 50Snohomish, WA |
I must say I agree w/Jerome. Oh yeah, by the way...can I come too?  I promise I'll be quiet... Sheilan [This message has been edited by Sheilan (edited 03-02-2000).] |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
you are more than welcome to come sheilan |
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