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Swarming the hallways... (1st draft)
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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Swarming the hallways... (1st draft) |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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Swarming the hallways, students are walking, Not even worrying whether they’re late. Copying homework and loudly talking In their normal, half-drowsing state. Quickly, the freshmen adapt to the school, No longer afraid of the task that they’re facing. As long as each freshman acts like a fool, Their reputation will be amazing. There are many in classes, quietly sleeping Walking in masses, in locker rooms peeping, Guiltlessly flirting, smiling, blushing, School team supporting, assignment rushing. The seniors walk through the school with no care, Neglecting their low, unacceptable grades. Spending their income on the clothing to wear To their endless and countless dates. Unsure of the future, with nothing to do, They wander around without a purpose. And all, with exceptions of a limited few, Appear to be perfectely calm on the surface. There are many at homes, partying, dancing, Glued to their phones, talking, romancing Constantly dating, meeting and splitting Summer awaiting, summerschool greeting. Homework ignoring by doing nothing Sleeping all morning, loudly laughing. Scholarships losing, college applying, And parent-using, mostly for money, Essays attempting, but never completing Appearing enchanting, supposedly witting, Simply not caring, excitmentment yearning, Term papers sharing, and never learning Knowledge restraining, and answers lacking, For next year remaining, for college packing, Diversely contrasting, the same appearing Brilliance casting and failure fearing. Strolling alone and walking in masses, There are many at home, many in classes. But among all of those who do not do a thing There are few who are striving to learn. Taking pride in their power to reason and think, To gain knowledge and wisdom they yearn. There are students in classes, reading and writing Wearing thick glasses, directions abiding Essay composing, and textbook keeping Working ‘til closing, and never sleeping Answers improving and paper misspending Constantly moving, distinguished, outstanding Honor Roll making and prizes obtaining Boring notes taking, advantages gaining Wasting their weekends, stopping at nothing Hundreds receiving, and teachers loving, Solution testing, and errors rewriting And never resting, dilemmas fighting Carrying pads, often marching in masses There are many in labs, many in classes. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
You did an excellent job describing the two extremes of the high school spectrum, but you forgot us over here in the middle  . I'm an honors student but I don't consider my self a geek. Anyway, great job, I love all your work ~Susie~ |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
This poem says a lot, Master. I'm sure many of us, including me, can relate to this. Highschool is such a divided place. Great work! The flow could be improved somewhat, but other than that, I enjoyed it! *Krista Knutson* "Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~ |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Well, I guess if you've spent a day in one highschool, you've experienced them all. Your poem was perfect. Teens are either slackers or perfectionists, for the most part. well, for example, me and my sister. Way to make us face reality. Most impressive.<so you're wondering which one I am...> "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you all for those kind comments, Angel, I'm one of those myself, but that's not what the poem is about. Alwye, I just wrote this so I'll work on it a lot more to make it flow better. LyricFetish, I'm guessing you're the wild type? LOL |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
hey! what about the stanze for those of us that did just enough to do good? i was far froma slacker yet far from studious...where do i get to go? purgatory? oh well.. rich-pa |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Great poem Master....your poems are always great. The way you've descriped highschool is amazing, but I guess you did leave out the people in the middle. There are lots of them. Great job anyhow. Salma "Not all the answers lie within your realm or mine, they lie within the borders." |
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sunshine17 Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 89Bonduel, WI USA |
that is a really good poem although as being a senior i don't agree with that part... us seniors put in our time and hey some of us still do have to work to get good grades not all of us slack off. other than that i think you desribed my school excatly. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you all! rich-pa, I don't think that purgatory is for you, I'll think of something to include your type in this poem. Salooma, thank you, but the poem was about the extremes of high schools, people in the middle (and I'm one of them) are boring to write about. Sunshine, that's what the last two stanzas are about! Thank you for responding! |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
master: *waa haa haa haa* i love this... absolutely love it... i remember being a senior, though i think i fell in the same category as rich: i skipped to college early i suppose... never spent much money on clothes, but i kept my grades hovering at passing, and i sure was calm about it all... thanks for the journey back in time  sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
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