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Teen Poetry #2
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The shadow that rips itself apart...
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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The shadow that rips itself apart... |
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The Jackal Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A |
shaking because theres nothing left to hold on to this believing for the season my only reason for not picking up this mess sparing all the time alone ..wishing you never were a self imposed ripped apart shadow of a diseased and desperate heart... |
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| © Copyright 2000 John Dixon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
I really liked this....wow. It's so simple, but filled with such mystery and.... I do tend to babble on so...the poem was great.  Salma [This message has been edited by Salooma (edited 02-19-2000).] |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
It's almost like a cry from the soul. I'm not positive I understand, but I'm definately impressed. "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
jackal: this is a pretty good poem... i can't say it's one of your best pieces, but i won't venture to say that it's inferior either, just a bit different... i sense some poetic conflict between lines 3 & 4 that might need to be resolved... but all things aside, i think this is a good piece... sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
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