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Teen Poetry #2
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My Last Breath
| Teen Poetry #2 |
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My Last Breath |
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Nights Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 56 |
Educate my life Manipulate me Turn away and Beat my being You've pushed me Down once before Left me there in The filth and mess Waiting to see How my life would End, how i'd take My last breath But this stubborn Sense of mine Wouldn't let me Give up so fast I've found myself Through the ways And left you struggling In my blurred tracks But things change So fast, i fell behind And watched as you Raced ahead After the smoke cleared I could barely see you Not a single eye since Has been left dry Once, twice and yet Another, I've been here Before, and i refuse to Learn from my mistakes So take my hand And burn it with Love, place it next To yours, charred "It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh it's my mouth that pushes out this breath..."-FTE |
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| © Copyright 2000 Nights - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Interesting poem. I found myself rereading it several times interpreting it as I could. Whenever I do that with poetry, I realize someone has written something especially well. That was a compliment! Danny |
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Ophelia Speaks Junior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 11suburbia, IL |
Very interesting- i especially liked the ending. very emotional too. thanks for sharing this!!!  |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Nice poem.....i liked the way you put it and the ending was beautiful!  Salma |
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LyricFetish Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 528North Carolina |
Great poem! I too re-read several times. I loved the whole thing, but the last stanza was where it all came together, so that was my favorite part. Pretty awsome. "The bullets you bite from the pain you request, you're finding harder to digest" -Collective Soul |
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poetry_kills Senior Member
since 1999-12-04
Posts 549new orleans |
nights: the last stanza is absolutely riveting... i love it... especially the use of the word "charred"... it seems to suggest so much more depth in the last line than i saw in the entire rest of the poem... that may just be my reading though *heh*... sincerely, jerome the mysterious priest Disarm you with a smile And leave you like they left me here To wither in denial The bitterness of one who's left alone --[billy corgan]-- |
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